ckyl<3

Blog

2009-02-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

Buryour-head.blogspot.com

If you cared enough, you would have saw this.

All the best for you and me.

Gone, like yesterday is gone.

2009-02-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

Hey all.

School and everything has been gr8 so far. I have no complains or whatsoever.
My team and I have proceeded to the semi-finals alr and we're up against Dunman next.
I've skipped school today because I woke up late and I'd rather skip school than have my phone confiscated. Have been playing Psp whenever I had the time because I like and it's fun.

So, I have been blogging on this blog for however long and I wanted to change my blog's url for quite sometime alr but I haven't had the time or couldn't be bothered coming online to change so I guess today will be the day. Blogs haven't been the most private online diary but I guess it beats having to lug around one real diary even if it has a padlock. My house ain't a place for hiding shit -turns and look at my mum.

My last archives is the September 2006 one and I have posted so much shit here. Kinda like my life since middle of my secondary one life. Time flies and I am in friggin' sec four alr. The thoughts of having to see my dear mates graduating before me kinda hurts because that means it will only be me and Joan plus the younger ones next year and I don't think I can handle the shit. Some teachers in school are kinda like making it hard for us (the team) I guess.

My relationship is not the best one but I guess I'm still kinda living it. Getting used to stuff and all. Things will work out as always but perhaps not. Lets just see how far this goes this time round and how long my paranoia can stay hold. Looking at the people you work with everyday, it makes it even harder to trust you're nothing like them. I don't think I make a good girlfriend because I'm ugly and fat like that. I want your attention too much and the love and care I need I don't get from you but I have to make do with what I have. I never had to make do with what I have if I had a choice. Now that I'm with you.. I read those emails we used to send each other when we're so faraway. As compared to now, everything is so different. I kinda wished you are now back for a holiday and not staying here for the next few years. I know you try and convince me but. Thanks for trying and I believe you too. Just. . .
Happy 18th anyway. Not like we both care too much anyway since we're both kinda busy.
Love you anyway.

It's Valentines day on saturday. What we gonna do about it. Nothing. At all.
I don't know if it's refer to my r/s as sad or alright..

I saw the instructions on how to make chocolate truffles and now, gonna prepare and go meet Sheryl at whitesands and go over to Joan's.

I hope Bel is having fun at Aust now :D (luv)

In the plane back to Sg.

BURYOURHEAD.

Hello Yilin, I fucking love youuuu hahahah.

A new start - Everyday!

2009-01-30T17:48:00.000-08:00

Finally, a movie with the 8 and my first Nc16 movie!!! It's not even my birthday yet but the movie theatre at Century Square actually allow you in if you are gonna be 16 that year. Heehee. But the goddamn movie suck ballz (Love matters). It's just talking about sex and all so may I know what makes it Nc16?!?! Huh?!?! Board of films?!?! I swear Sg is still not OPEN enough. Like srsly, we fucking learn about sex in school so EXCUSE ME?(???)

I'm just glad the 9 of us went out for a MOVIE again. Hahah.

Anyway, I'm gonna go game soon. I need a DS so I can play cooking mama. Fking hell :(

I liked POA today. I think I'm getting better. I hope so too.

Hello Zb, just wanted to tell you again that everyday is a new day okay! There are new suprises everyday, HOR? Hahaha.

Okay. Aunt is complaining about this man.
Aunt(in cheena): Na ge wu gui wan ba dan.
See, this is what Mahjong can do. That guy also another bastard so what the fk.

Okay game time. Baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~
Love.

Incompetent fucks

2009-01-29T14:31:00.000-08:00

I've been cursing and swearing at those assholes working at youknowwhere. I'm so ticked off because if they can't give me what I want by Saturday, the one who gets all the bullshit is ME. So, is it unreasonable that I get so worked up?!?!?! Omfggggggggg. Okay I need to chill.

Today, is the only day, in the past few months, that I've stayed online for so long. I usually log off within half an hour without saying "Goodbye" or anything like that. That's why I get complains. Heh.

I skipped school today because I woke up at 7.20am. The time that I'm suppose to leave the house and the thoughts of having to do canteen duty just made me not want to attend school anddddddddddd Mum went Bangkok without telling me but everyone else. Tsk.

Less than 8 months to N level, less than 4 months to the big separation with my 4year mates. J and I are gonna be the loner next year in da team. Can we just quit...
Sigh. I hate this year. Meow.

I need to go gaming now! Hahahaha.

I realised many things now. We haven't quarrelled for quite sometime now but you didn't notice.. I don't know what should I be doing now. I read your blog and the posts that you posted on days when we quarrel badly. I guess we're different now. Someday, we will end like how Emma on Bride Wars ended with her husbandtobe. You saw me growing up for 4 years already. How I wish I knew that everything would stay the same.

Before Hk Trip,

During Hk Trip,

After Hk Trip,

Current,

My other 4 that I'll never forget.

(No matter how emo Yang is,

No matter how much coffee jokes(inside joke btwn me and her) Xe needs,
No matter how irritating Pok is,

No matter how nonsense J is.

I love You 4!

Thnks fr th Mmrs, Xoxo)

Till the next time(when I can be bothered),

Much love.

Strangers

2009-01-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

Happy CNY everyone! ;D

I am only allowed to sleep last night after 12 and the praying and it's full house at my place today. I get Angpao so who gives a shit. Aunt cooked so much food that it looked as if my house was having buffet. I kinda have enough angpao $_$ already and I don't really care too much for another one. I GOT A RED PACKET THAT CONTAINS $2. BLOODY..... But everywhere and everyone is recession ing so . .

There some eclipse or some sort yada bullshit going on with the sun and I see people outside "camping" alr.

I really can't be fucked blogging. I just needed everyone to know I'm still alive, :D

OH, my first match is on the 2nd of Feb which is next week. Please come and support your Mother, ME :D

Ok love.

(The wedding game SUCK)

Once again, on my own

2009-01-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

I cannot depend on who I used to depend on anymore. I can't complain what I want anymore. I don't have to walk to the interchange to take 109 home anymore, there's no point. Everything that happened before is the past now. I really wish I was that flawless and good enough for whoever had me.

We sat at the park near my house last night and I remembered clearly how much fun we were having 2 nights ago before last night. Last night was totally different from then and this is how god makes fun of us, i guess.

Maybe it's better like that. Just incase 2009 gets any worse.

It's time to focus on what I'm suppose to.

I hope the rest don't fail me. I think I'm strong enough this time.

Thanks Jeremy! :D
I promise you I'm always here.

Trg time soooooon! :)

When your heart is searching

2009-01-16T11:36:00.000-08:00

I skipped the second day of CIP. We spent the whole of yesterday morning folding those big black bags and taping them with doublesidetapes and folding the flyers. Had our break and went to those blocks to give them out to every single door. Today they are collecting it.

I had a good sleeeeep. I must watch Ghost whisperer tonight too. I saw the trailer and I alr feel the sadness(?) LOL.

I shouldn't blog. F.

I love Yilin anyway hahahahahaha.

Ok baby bye!

Light and stars

2009-01-05T19:19:00.000-08:00

I actually feel like taking Astrophysics (sp?) when I further my studies. I fucking love Mr Lee. So do the other girls, heh.

Anyway, I'm at ramp inter's mac. Waiting for him as something happpened at somewhere.
I'm down with flu and cough. But they are minor so it is alright. But this just shows that I'm falling sick.
Yes, fall sick.

Lee chai noi was very nice to me today. I like and I shall continue to be good until she make noise about me.

I like school. Kinda. I like being a 16 year old girl. I wanna be forever seventeen though. Won't ever grow old and die. But this is life. Sigh. I'm startingtowork hard for my n levels already. Why didn't i take through-train. . But not as if I would enjoy it much so -

This is all for now. Till next time when I get better.

Love.

Voices

2009-01-04T15:57:00.000-08:00

I had a nice talk with bf at the macs near my place. It was a gr8 talk and I'm glad we had it and so does he. I guess I'm just too much of a girl at times. Now that he is working and stuff and I have my own trg and competitions I guess it's kinda fair for the both of us.

First day of school didn't turn out that bad. Our canteen looks more awesome than the temporary one obviously and it looks like a KOPITIAM. Good stuff is that I'm having a air-conditioned classroom for a year and probably next year too. Too bad to all the suckers who are stucked at the old classroom block, pity.
We have a permanent POA teacher, a new SS teacher(Since my fave Nelly left :(, now it's Gloria - my vb teacher incharge) and I can't recall.

Trg last night was good..NOT but only until towards the ending it turned out okay. I'm glad I returned to my normal "form" - The way how I should be playing. I hope I can stay this way till I grad.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I feel like going out to buy something to eat. I'm thinking of............. Hahaha. I'm home for today and I'm extremely bored.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

You really think your friends are your true friends? Think again.
They never really understand you because they don't go through the same thing.
I guess I just never really understood what you all meant by being FRIENDS.
I shouldn't say so much. . It's pointless and it will never get through to YOU.

If you keep the faith, nothing is too tough. - Yc

I will continue whatever I'm doing right now, keep the faith and I'll get there.

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009.

2009-01-01T15:35:00.000-08:00

It's a new year. 2008 went pass quickly. I will never forget 2008, and the people who came in and went outta my life ;D

This year has been a great year.

EastZone>Nationals for vb even though we won nothing but I guarantee this year, we'll get it.

Valentines was a gr8 one this year! (luv)

Sec3 Camp, Hk trip and all the breaks inbetween.

Highs and lows, whenever I need someone, that someone will be there.

Thanks Jeremy, nevertheless ;D

New Year Resolutions:
1. I will study hard and pass my Nlvls
2. I will do my best to win the Champion title for my graduating mates
3. I will not get any yellow forms next year
4. I will try and not to piss Mummy and Daddy off
5. I will not hate anyone and love everyone
6. I will try my best not to disappoint anyone

lastly, the one that my friends would laugh at..
7. I WILL LEARN AND SAVE MONEY (!!!)

I wanna thank for those who had made my life better and this world a better place for me:

My team mates, the group of girls and "guys"(ROFL), people of 3C2, people I know in NgeeAnn, Coach, the teachers, Ch, Yl and Kenneth bro, Yc Kong.

I love you all and happy new year! ;D May all of your wishes come true and all the best for this year! :)

(Sian, it's January again LOR)

Thanks Ch, have a safe flight.

-------

We had a picnic at Pasir ris park but ended up at Xe's house watching Twilight on the 30th. Rooney's laughter really crack me up like ballz.

Yesterday, we had trg before the year countdown. Zy, Jerline, J and me cabbed down to bistro@Changi and that blood cabbie ticked me off. Tsk. Reached there and baby was emcee ing(sp?) the whole thing with his boss or w/e so the four of us had bacardi and took pictures. Went to Tamp for roti prata and yada yada. I fell asleep while waiting for the food to come and home at 3am pluspluz.

Every year's countdown it's the same anddddddddddd there's fucking school tmr.

OH LORD.

Okay tv time. Until the next time I blog. Love y'all!

The replay of God of War

2008-12-20T14:27:00.000-08:00

Heehee, I am starting God of War again. I'm so happy to play that once again since I've got my PSP from my dear andddddddddddddddddddddddd I did my nails at FarEast after the fucked up one at Nails in Vogue, Tm.

I love Edward like nuts and I'm joining all the pussies who wants to be with Edward and be a Vampire. I just reckon his whole family is cool like daaaaaaaammmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn.

Anyway, trg was gr8 last night 'cos your bitch me, is back in action. I'm operating properly now and then like LOVEEEEEEE.

Okay I AM LAZY

AND FEELING GAY

I LOVE

EVERYONE

BYEBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Carolyn, I know you can do it.

I BELIEVE.

(Ok fuck meself)

YILIN..... :(

NOT TO FORGET, MERRY X'MAS TO EVERYONE AND HAVE A GR8 COUNTDOWN PARTY OK!!! DN'T FORGET TO KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT WITH ALOCOHOL AND SHIT.

ok, long enough.

See y'all in 2009! :D
(Btw, 2009 looks weird. Like very. Hahaha)

PS. I replied the comments alr, sorry for the delayed reply. Obviously I wasn't on the computer and therefore... :)

Keep on comment ing LAH.

Do you feel

2008-12-09T23:58:00.000-08:00

I swear again that bloody Physical training is awful. I need to run my incline 7 on the goddamn treadmil (!!!)(sp?)

Training was not as gr8 last night but again, when was it ever awesome? But recently, I got to know Qihui and she is such a monster(and other girls who joined Ny team). Tsk. Jocelyn is not any better 'cos she keeps harassing me with that "8 years friend" thing. Mates were going on about selling themselves to each other for however much. Like lyv, for only 20 baht.

I'm going to Poh's house for mahjong and waste my time till 8pm so that I can leave for the airport. I've made it to the 9th of December which is today. Yay I luv ;D

I'm gonna go dry my hair and have lunch now. Pack my stuff and go later.

Dear Jillian, work hard! You still have a long way to go. Luv.

(I just realised I still love big bags after carrying my sis's tiny but expensive Crumpler haversack for so many days)
And that fucking piece of shit, JOAN, actually found my faceless doll and I love her like some bitch now omgggggggggggg. I LOVE U JOAN. Truly and amazingly my 7 years shit. Lol.
"EAT MY SHIT"- Joan's fave phrase

I'm coming back to show you that I'm keeping the promise I've made

Hi Tan Yilin, I still love you like always, LOR.

If you just realise
What I just realise
Then we'd be perfect for each other

Count down!!!

Baibai :D Luv.

P.S. YOU FUCKING CUNT(!!!)

Silent mode

2008-11-27T21:12:00.000-08:00

Trg with the juniors ain't that bad. Gym was painful.. Anyway, if YOU* guys wanna thrash us next year, I guess you've to train twice as hard as presby in order to thrash us because I remembered clearly that ever since we lost to you at 2006's minicup, we've never lost to you guys. Best of luck,huh!

Christmas is coming soon!!!!! Yay I love :D

Supposed to watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua with the bitches but because of Sarah Tan...Tsk.

Anyway. I need to go out and chill tmr.

Kinda ticked off right now.

Burn.

So you say the presents just a pleasant interruption to the past

2008-11-25T15:30:00.000-08:00

I'm stone ing here at home infront of the laptop right now. I am waiting for the bitches to tell me if they are going to Yt's class chalet 'cos it is empty andddddddddd Yilin to tell me when she is done packing/unpacking her stuff. I wna go catch another movie but our dear sarah is in some financial crisis so I have to spare a thought for her. Heh. Anyway, I feel like going to 85 for dinner tonight. Goddamnit.

Yesterday training was such a gr8 "training" that none of us in the team trained except for Xe. Well obviously something was up that caused the inconvinience and those hurtful stuff coming out from the CEO of the Shen Organization's mouth. I pity myself and the team. Ny players are leaving for Sarawak. Even though it's a shitty place but it's better than going to HK to enjoy the weather and meet lousy players. Fair enough if we're gonna get good players but fuck, no. We have to train with the sec1s tmr. Another level of hell. I don't understand the kids nowadays. Getting so bloody.. Complicated. Lily* joined into their world of childishness and started bitching about my team. About all that is not true and I don't know why did she do that. Probably just wanting my juniors to love her more and hate us. Hi Lily*, don't you know you play Volleyball like some Well fuck it if she sees this. I don't give a shit whether I am not suppose to know or not.

Anyway, I'm out.

Ly and my sis is trying to piss me off with all those voice clips over at Msn (!!!)
Hahaha. Idiots. Might turn up at her front door later.

Tata!

Chronicles of...your big fat ass.

2008-11-24T01:29:00.000-08:00

It's the International Not-Very-Nice day for my dear Jeremy and me. He keeps saying "Hey, that's not very nice" to whatever I say to him like "Shut up" and all.

Wild Child with S,S and J.

Life is tiring. I'm drained. I wanna give up on Vb and I wanna leave to somewhere like HK.
I didn't regret buying the tee that I bought stating "I -heart- HK". I love the cold weather and I hate Sg's weather even though the country is so safe. How I wish everything nice from every country can be placed into one. Then it will be like one of our supermarkets that sells all the very expensive food.

Anyway, I love you all who love me and hate Sg's weather and fuck life.

YILIN IS BACK IN SG LATER TODAY!!!
But I have fucking training. Spoiler, I HATE.

Out. Of this place.

At this point in time...

2008-11-23T00:52:00.000-08:00

Its hard to express what I am feeling right now. All the wrong emotions coming in at the wrong time causing me to stay up. Best thing is that there is fucking piano in the morning.

I used to thought I could do this whole long distance relationship. Now, I doubt everything.
Paranoia, wrong emotions coming in at different parts of the day, all the quarrels we have.
Yes I know, nothing can stop us if we want this relationship to work. But I'm tired of sitting here everyday waiting for your return. Yes, it's another sickening 16 days. I know very well that I get pissed over minor and extreme stuff. Getting agitated when there is no need and everything.

Ok fuck. Everyone just burn and die. Exclude those who don't deserve to die.

Now it's my Mum's turn.

(extremely pissed and unhappy)

Try and bring me down some more and I fucking swear I'll fuck you up.

Sometimes, it's better off liking a girl.
Why can't guys be more sensitive and REALLY understand feel how a girl feel instead of thinking they fully understand a girl's emotion at that moment in time.

Everything appearing infront of you, looking as if it is really what it is, is actually all just fantasies and bullshit you wish and hope for.

The past taught me lessons and finally, this line can finally be used:
"For making me feel like I was the ONLY ONE"
Anyway, I kinda got over it. Not much point harping on it right now.

Good luck to you with doing whatever. I don't feel like saying anything anymore. I'm fucking tired.

It a harder as days go by

2008-11-22T22:23:00.000-08:00

I feel like swearing but there isn't any point. These days, things ain't that easy anymore. Everyday, wanting to do certain things gets tougher and more challenging. I dislike my life but what can I do. I dread training but i still show up. Sent my sister to the airport because she was leaving for 3 weeks. I'm still glad that she liked the stuffs I bought her at Disneyland. I feel very good seeing her smile though she is irritating, heh.

Will upload the pictures soon when my dear sister can be fucked. (Actually, all the pictures are uploaded in my folder alr. Thnks sis) I did something bad at Disney which no one will expect together with my accomplices-Sarah, Sheryl, Joan and Phebe. Leaving sookjuan innocent. I hope that I will be able to join redsports and earn some cash and I know it is gonna be hard but when is earning cash easy?

I'm at hk cafe now settling the bill. See y'all soon.

P.s There is this fucking bitch going around botching about me and my mates who dn't really talk to her.
I wonder what is her damn problem and she is such a big boaster. The biggest you've ever seen. I assure you that you will never expect someonelike her to say such stuff. I really wonder what changed her and I hope she realize I'm not someone who sits by and ignore this bullshit that is NOT the truth. Fuck you, bitch.

Yilin, I miss you :(

the fire runs through my being

2008-11-16T19:45:00.000-08:00

Open house:
(The pictures are quite massive in size so you guys prolly can see almost everything but yeah^^)

The booth, a tad failure, heh.

The trophy and everything else

The straws are for...

These bookmarks! ;D

I took that from Esther. Dance rented it from a shop and I borrowed it from Esther :D

Lunch time

See me eat (#1)

On the way to trg...

And see me eat again(#2) ROFLMAO

We lost but we got 2nd. It has been tough and I'm glad it is over now. Gr8 game Jurong ;D That dumb Eileen ain't back from Beijing yet! Tsk. Anyway, I've to pack my shit later and buy strappal from the pharmacy at Whitesands.

Fuck, my fucking eyelids have been twitching since 3 or something (!!!)

I've to go. I'll miss Yilin so much. Awwww. She's flying off to Taiwan on Thursday so yeah.

Love y'all and take care!

You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

Bring home the glory

2008-11-15T22:47:00.000-08:00

I'm flying off this Monday to Hk. I will miss those I would miss ;D you know whoooooo hahahh.
I won't be blogging till the 22nd I reckon. I should pack the rest of my things tmr night and sleep early.

It's our last tomorrow, it's now or never so we're gonna fight it all with every breathe we take in. I promise I'll bring home the Champions once again and make it known to everyone that NgeeAnn is now stronger than ever. We have won every single game 2-0 with our very own effort. We will not do things that make us feel regretful and therefore, we shall win tomorrow's game and show everyone what we have and what we can do.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU.
GOOD NIGHT AND WISH ME LUCK.

Ngee Ann, Ace

You're so fine that you made me blow my mind

2008-11-13T17:18:00.000-08:00

We're into the finals, playing against PresbyRed(..) on sunday @ YioChuKang Sports Hall, either 12pm or 2pm (hint hint everyone)

Being in the team and being the C..it's so bloody tiring that I swear it's not funny. I hate my life like that. I'm deprieved of sleep too. Anyway, I'm gonna watch Madagascar tomorrow with Yilin and Jowilly(I hope) I saw the trailer and it's so funny! The first ever time that I'm this interested in Madagascar or something similar.

Three more days and your mother, me, will be getting out of sg for 5 days. Don't tell me, I know no one will miss me. Anyway, we will be having friendly matches ;D and Disneyland. Not forgetting to shop around! :D I'm looking forward going to the Dimsum restaurant, hohoho..

We got our team tee already and the word 'Team NgeeAnn' is so fking tiny that it might as well not be there. Such a waste of our money for that tiny printing. Tsk. Got our shoes and most of them can't fit into it. We're getting another jersey for the hk trip so it will be the Adidas one.

I am very tired for everything now. I need to return to my MP house to get my crocs that I'm bringing to hk or maybe I shouldn't. Okay I'm just gonna rot on the bed and see what I can do after that. It has been raining(!!) AND SHIT, my pms is coming soon. OMGOMG. Better not when I'm having fun in hk. You know how much of a spoiler pms is.

I'm talking to Ferd and he was telling me how much he don't wanna stay in Vb for however long. I guess me and him thinks the same way. OH WELLL FERD, GO HAVE A CRY. Hahaha.

Tata people,

P.S Good game Jurong and NgeeAnn ;D
P.S(2) Hi Belinda, you're labelled the most Gl kid today in the whole volleyball 'industry' ROFLMAO!
P.S(3) I got myself no. 14 for my hk jersey :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD (because you know why :))
P.S(4)HI PEOPLE, WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT, COME DOWN ON SUNDAY, THIS IS NO CHARITY OR SOME DONATION DRIVE.

Paranoia and the hurtful truth

2008-11-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

We won ShuQun 2-1. I had never played a match, till my face turned as white as a piece of paper. My Coach was extremely shocked too. We won anyway. I am glad. Next up is Presby Red, I rly hope we can win.

I declined the offer for throughtrain. Some of you might think that it is a very dumb decision and I am wasting the opportunity. It's my own choice. I fuck up my own life, I'm responsible for it. Yc called the moment he saw my post last night and thinks that my reasons are reasonble. I don't understand why you insist on me going into through-train. So what if I don't understand your pain, your whatsoever and I always make the wrong choice.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(And the story continues)

Maybe, maybe, you should just find another girlfriend who respects ALL your decision and doesn't give you so much trouble and everything painful you have to go through.

Nevertheless, I still love you.

(YES THERE IS TRG WOO!!)

Love.

The greatest love of all

2008-11-07T21:11:00.000-08:00

I have been offered a place in the through-train class next year. I have been stressing my ass of for the pass two days just because of this. Hello Eugenia, you are so stressed now too. No doubt.

Yesterday's match was postponed due to the fking idiots sitting at Va... It has been postponed to Monday at 5.15pm. 5.15pm, AGAIN. Tell us the same damn thing again, old bitches.

Life has been great. We have been winning all schools with 2-0. Talking about the strongest school around eh . .

Ok, im out. Tata babys!
I'll be out of Sg on the 17th!!! YES!

Check this, take notice the guy who is holding the mag, he looks totally like Vishal I swear:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MEmNvgoA-c

Pain that caused inconvinience

2008-11-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

Okay great shit now. I can't play for the team until my report comes out. I was at the doctor just now, getting a check up for my heart that has been hurting me for ten months or so. Now that my heart hurt like a million needles poking yesterday due to the nervousness in me, my coach and my teacher made me go for a check up. I just hope the report comes out soon and I can start playing again.

There is a match tmr and I can't play. (FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK) Okay. Good luck to my dear mates then.

Anyway, it's Sarah's birthday today so Happy birthday Sarah! Please study hard next year!

We got through the first round and onto the second.

Good luck to the others. I'm out.

HELLOWEEEEEEEEEN

2008-10-31T23:53:00.000-07:00

Won 2 matches, all down with 2-love. I am going for the next match now. I am very lazy. . . Anyway, we will be having matches until Sunday. It's only the first round. But yeah anyway. It's Halloween and I am coming home to stone.

I skipped school today, I only attended school once this week. I am hungry now because I haven't had anything since I woke up. I was going on about JEREMY'S hair yesterday because I disliked it soooooo much that I had to keep complaining. Yeah it's not MY hair so I should keep quiet. Ok, that's the way.

I need to complete my holiday assignments and everything else. I'm getting a camera soon! I just don't know which one to get though. .

Ok time to go for the stupid match now. I hate this but I like it at the same time. Everyone bless me and my left ankle.

LOVE YOU ALL ;D
Happy Halloween too! :)

The real battle begins...

2008-10-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

(Hahahah I totally ripped my title from KidsCentral I think? I can't really recall but only the guy's voice which goes like "Let the real battle begin" or "The real battle begins" Lol. OH, OKTO IS SO IRRITATING. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING SET IT NOW THAT I CAN'T WATCH CARTOONS ON KIDSCENTRAL(!!!))

Today's the first lesson of EAP and I've skipped it. I'm just feeling to much of a holiday(even thou it's so not a HOLIDAY) First match today at Hougang Sports Hall, 5pm! Ok. It's supposingly a sure win match.

Happy birthday Zb. This is a late one. I totally liked the Salad and everything there. The food was great. I asked her bro if he does catering, heh, I want it next year at my party ;D
Many said I looked like Jacq that night...So I "eeee" her the whole night long. Hahaha. THANKS FOR THE KISS ANYWAY ;D Too bad we knew each other a little too late, now that you'ree graduating :( Bussed to Simei Eastpoint for late night starbucks with the people. I "hate" Eug and Joan now. Hahhaha.

Now that I have nothing much to rant about and life's been pretty oh-kay...
I'm gonna bathe and meet the mates now for lunch and onto the battle field.

GO NGEEANN OWN THE DAMN CUP THIS YEAR!!!!!

This whole week is like EAP till 1230>Match
WTFUCK MEOWMEOWDUCKYDUCKY YOYOYOYOYOYO.

Bai LUV YOU ALL! ;D

First mistake, I let you down

2008-10-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

I skipped the last day of school and I'm feeling very awake now.
It's the holidays already, but no for us. We will be having another 3 weeks of EAP.
Best thing about the whole EAP thing is that CorrineLiu will be our POA teacher for that 3 weeks. I've made it through sec3 and I will work hard next year (I know talk is cheap la but I will) 'cos it's teh freaking Nlvls and I don't wanna be in ITE.

Sunday is nearing. It gets closer every damn day, like DUHHHHH. Yeah. I just remembered TJH have yet returned me my jersey. Which made me recall that Xe's in trouble with her royal blue jersey that faded to purple 'cos the shirt couldn't take the intensive washing process.
Oh well. Everyone in the team knows that her granny's a clean freak. A million times worse than my mum 'cos I thought my mum was the worst of them all.

I'm gonna go bathe and have me lunch. Ball time!

P.S. I LOST WEIGHT AGAIN, ANOTHER 1KG down.

I love walking home every now and then. Meow.

The finishing line

2008-10-21T12:43:00.000-07:00

Math: 26% (25/140)
English: 60% (25.5/50)
Chinese: 58%(48/70)
(All three are overalls for this year and those in brackets are my papers)

Now I'm done with my exams, I can say that I feel relieved. I'm not one of those who retained and I'm not the bottom 30%. My results didn't come out the way I want it to be but anyway, I'm just glad I am not gonna do my Sec3 all over again. It was tough. My bff is not retaining(again) but my two other "bff" are. Bloody faggots, tsk. Next year is gonna be a boring year. I feel like quitting school already. Sigh.

Anyway. I skipped school the whole of last week and I skipped today too. Training last night was good and there will be no training this saturday! It's zb's birthday anyway so yay! Fun fun fun after the exams! But the first match will be on the next day. Such a spoiler. . I can't wait for the goddamn Hongkong trip even though I am going there for training most of the time but it is still a kind of experience. Not forgetting that we have to go thru 3 weeks of extra lessons. Fk. Which starts on this tuesday so basically, it means that we have no holiday. I don't even think it's a proper holiday. There's so much for the volleyball team. Bitches. . .

My mum didn't tell me she was going to Malaysia again even though she knew I wanted to go. I told her the last time. Okay, so much for taking in the words I say, mum.

I'm going out soon. See y'all babiesssssss!

(I just remembered I'm taking Nlvls next year. WTFFFFFFFFF?!?!?!?!!?)

It's never too late for a second chance

2008-10-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

I need to watch this. It looks nice to me and i wanna watch ittttttt. Anyone?

--

Skipped school for 2 days without feeling guilty 'cos to me, the holidays are here already. Hear the jingle bells ring! Ok, too early for that. If I did attend school today, they are gonna bloody haul me ass to the old folks' home and do CIP. I'd rather rot at home then.

So anyway, I'll be going down to nearby school and see the usual.
My sisters are out, leaving me the only one home. I'll drop by dunman and see how the juniors are maybe.

Thinking of next sunday's PROGRAMMES, I already feel like....crap. We're gonna send ourselves onto the court and start kicking asses. We can do it, Team NgeeAnn.

I
am
bored
outtaaa
myyyyy
goddamn
asssssssss

1, I wanna go to the beach
2, I wanna watch Nights in Rodanthe
3, I wanna watch The Coffin
4, I wanna get champion for YouthCup
5, I want christmas to come soooon

Ok. That's about it.

Until so far, my life has been pretty alright.
I'm still surviving but not anymore when I see my math results. I would faint on the spot ok.
ON TEH SPOT YO. Alright. Time to prepare.

Tata.

PS. I'm gonna change my url soon. (Buryourhead.blogspot.com, ?)

Youre not alone

2008-10-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

(This whole chunk of wordssssss are removed 'cos I love..... ^^)

I got home early cos I wanted to have my instant noodles Ok, someone is gonna scold me right after he sees this. It was bloody raining and my shoes are soaked. Totally. Even though I had my FCUK RAIN. I am meeting the zharbors later at the same damn place. Argh. . . Anyway, I watched Connected recently! It was kinda funny and thrilling. Heh. It's suppose to be a thriller. Well done k. I've got home for an hour alr and I haven't had my noodles. I'm bloody starving.

I need someone to sponsor me cash. My pocket gets burned every week fast I swear. Ask Jeremy, he can tell you why. Okay I'm on the plan that I walk to the CC later. Or maybe cycle. Ok no walk. I can then burn some FATS and make everyone stop calling me FAT. 'Cos I fucking hate it. I will lose my 4 kg. I will.

Ok charge ipod time and eat and sleep and start my walking journey to the CC.

Luv.

(Weve made it thru 14months..............................holy shit)

I NEED TV NOW. SUDDEN CRAVING. LOL.

I'm a second place for a second chance

2008-10-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not fucked for Physics even though I finished it within half an hour out of 1.5 given. I'm pretty confident. Anyway, after the exams, there's a lot of things going on during the hols so I'm gonna be tired everyday. (I have dark eye rings now)

Stuffs that are coming up..
1, Zb's birthday(she has been waiting for this day to come. Counting down don't know since when)
2, Sarah's birthday too
3, First game for Youth cup on 26th of this month(wtf?!)
4, Hk Overseas Vb trip
5, Open house exhibition for Vb
6, Waiting for death

I'm gonna be bloody tied up and fuck the 3 hours diff. btwn sg and aust's time. Sure has caused extreme inconvinience.

I am feeling alot right now....I don't know what to say (Faber Drive's, Second Chance)

Ok I'm gonna get outta here and go change and head over to MP to grab my stuffs and meet the drag queen.

Bye all.

The thoughts of you...

2008-10-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

Now that I kinda have a half-time, away from the books, I'm gonna rant(not exactly)at this space until it's time to leave the house. Bloody sexist(Jh) still can't confirm with me whether she wants to go or not(not that you have to know where we're going to).
So suprised that my Bff, JR is studying. Hahah. Okay not real Bff. He even asked Poh to call me. Tsk. Okay partially my fault cos I was lazy to go check. My bag was downstairs and it was already 1! I have to call the Asics guy. I am scared. I should have told boyf to called("Hi, I'm Carolyn's legal representative":)) Okay gay.

Oh, note to my dear team mates,
There are a few shoe sizes not available. So maybe...I don't know what will happen. There is a possibility that the design of your shoe might change. It's not my fault, I'm not apologising. Screw Asics if you want.

A little bit of correction, Eugenia is Zayden and not Zayne as she changed her freakin' name and it slipped outta my mind for a second when I posted that out. My bad.

Next, hello Carolyn. So you do read my blog. Now that I have checked my Haloscan which I rarely check(explains why I took so long to find out), I know what to say to you. I will not post anything that is relevant to you on my blog as I'll go look for you. That way, it makes things easier. We don't have to go through the hoping and waiting over the web. If you think that I hate you, then why do you even bother to say sorry? Why do you even give me all the 'Why?' and apologise after. You are weird. Go think about it until I see you in school. You can then explain to me WHY. (Smiles politely)

Anyway, I'm going out with the Sexist and the Cow to read up a bit more about Geography which I know little about. It's time, Carolyn. Well shit, I promised I'm gonna do my best, I will. I'm gonna read read and read all my notes that Ms Low gave and send myself into the class for hell session tomorrow. It's only 2 chapters for this subject. I can do it. I will. Okay, enough of the make-believe. There's no tomorrow.

Still, today is good. I don't have Amath and I slept till 12(I had to pee, so I woke up-.-). I am feeling extremely lazy right now as the sky outside is turning grey and you know what that means. Think, raining outside, you staying in a aircond. room. Steam man.

9th December. Ok, ready set go. I can make it through(the rain).
17th November. Hongkong here I come.

I need to find out that place in...Osaka I think. Where I can get the dolls I want. G. bought it for me and it died eventually. I really liked that doll alot. But G* can't seem to remember where is that place. I remember it's a village...I still kinda do remember how the dolls came along too. I need to know where that place is...Oh..Someone.

Ok I need to bathe and haul my ass to Tampines to study with the people.
I need to lose another 4 more Kg and I'll reach my goal. It's a tad unhealthy but.....I'm desperate!

Jh confirmed has already confirmed the time with me, I need to go bathe and get ready to go out(Finally). I can't stand when my mum is around. Sigh. But I barely see her at home too...
OKAY BAI PEEPLE.
(LUV INCL.)

I used to thought I was invincible.

2008-10-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

So many things to say, so little time. Such a big space to place all my thoughts yet I just can't express them with the words I know. I hope I will get through all this and I've reached one of my goals - not to hate anyone. Mum have been encouraging, so did Jeremy and the others. I have a few more papers to go and I'll continue to have sleepless nights as I wait for the results to be out.

I hate my life. Just like what you said, it's inconsequential.
But I like the people in my life. I've made a few new friends.
I know what's important and what's not.
I know what's gonna happen when Phebe Poh leaves the team. You will only hear me say "I'M FUCKED. VERY."

Bye all. Finally dinner with mum.

Sigh. So much on my little mind.

This long hard road

2008-10-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

At this final lap of the run of this year, I am going to fail everyone who looks up to me. I do not know where to start revising from. The first two papers starts on Friday. I have not cleared my Acid and Bases and Extension on Trigo yet. I hope I will later. I am so fucked for the last final papers this year. I just hope I'll get promoted. That's all I ask for. I don't wanna fall when I'm nearing the finish line. Be it I'm the first to reach or not. I do not care anymore. I just want to complete this damn race and enjoy my holidays while it lasts.

After all this competing and jealousy, I realised this is not the way. I then realised what Sj said was right, in some way. "I know I can't beat them, so I just try and beat myself." Meaning she just keep improving and get better grades. I always ask myself, what am I fighting for? Fighting for that number 1 position in class? No, I wasn't. I fought because I knew very well that I can do better. It has sure caused me unhappiness. Explains why I have stopped and I do my best, for myself only. If anyone thinks that I'm still being competitive then I guess I should apologise, to disappoint you as that is not the case. Everyone wants to excel, no doubt. It's whether you have that capability or not. Not many things can be done within one night, it takes time. I obviously hope you all are able to take through train and that will spare you all from the agony of taking Nlvls but things don't work the way we want it to be so we all just do our best!

I know you all don't give a shit, but I have lost 4 kg in total (!!!) I will walk home everytime when I'm at CC. YAY. I'll hit 56 by the end of this year. I won't be able to shop in Hk when I'm there because it ain't the summer season. Damn! Never mind. Let's go kick some ass over there. I hope our trip wont' end up like TableTennis and Badminton's. Their's were badddddddddddd.
Tsk.

Life is not great at all right now. I'm trying to be as positive as possible.

Bye all.

When I'm with you

2008-09-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

Tell me, how do I not feel sick of all this. I really hate my life and I hate myself. I don't know what to say, I don't know anything. There are so many girls around, why me? Why did god made you and I meet and put us together? Made me go through all this that I did not have to, made me had sleepless nights, made me teared for you and find out things I shouldn't know.
I cannot accept the fact. The fact that has already happened. I am petty. I get jealous easily. I miss things easily and one of the most stupid bitch you would ever find. That is the Carolyn you know. Looking like she don't give a shit to everything that's happening.
But I guess things ain't the same. The people I know look all the same but deep inside their hearts I know, they're not.

To you,
I might have made it for some things, but I did not make it to what you wanted. I apologise for not making it to your expectations, ended up giving you such replies. I would have done it if I could, but it's srsly not my thing. I don't mean to be so pessimistic. I am not born like that but the past has made me felt this way. You should know better because you saw me growing up for years. Thanks for all the care. I still care and I do care and appreciate. I'm still waiting for you to return.

Goodnight.

Where's the voice of reason

2008-09-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

I lost my voice. Great. I wonder how after a night of sleep. Wow. Anyway, the English compo paper sucked balls and Cheena wasn't ballz at all. Pretty alright instead.
I am so irritated right now because I can't pick up calls and I have to text allllll the way. (!!!)
Everyone please open up your ears and hear me when I talk okayyyyy. Don't be like Eugenia Zayne. Bitch. I want to get wellllllllll.

I need to study and yes I will. I reckon my A1 for English just flew away. Ballz. I hope my Cheena gets a A2 at least.

I need to go meditate. See you all when I'm backkkkkk<3

Still burnin' up

2008-09-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda retarded with the keys on the laptop right now because of my damn fever. I slept in class the whole day 'cos mum forced me to school and didn't know I was sick till I called her at the last period. Her medicine don't seem to be working. I feel like crapppppppppppppp.

I missed Chem and Emath today. I was sick. DUH.

Anyway, I hate this.

Bye.

Tell me you wouldn't be paranoid. I swear I'm so fucking sick to be paranoid (!!!)

Burnin' up

2008-09-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

Sitting at the desk infront of me, typing all this into this box feeling so....turned off(?)
No point worrying about anything right now. I am very hot and sick right now.
Life is unfair and unfair and many more unfair shit x many many

Woked up in the morning, met R. Bunny and J. Zhang, and waited for my dear team mates. Had breakfast at the market located beside the interchange and headed over to Sentosa. I wanted to take the sky ride :( There's always a next time! I got burnt badly. For the first time. I am very very sad.

Went over to Lyv's and left at 8.30 because I couldn't make it anymore. I am having a fever, it ain't my sunburn. I slot my hand into my pocket, it felt as if I was steaming my hand. The sun cooked the sand at the beach today so well that all of our soles hurt bad.

I am gonna die. Bloody J. Zhang is getting high while I'm half alive. Stupid nerd....

Bad headache, high body temperature and not your average cough.

BURN.

It's the 20th alr, SO?
Hate this fucking life and everything.

Say it isn't so, tell me you're not leaving

2008-09-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

English period, I can't be bothered. The question i got for my most recent compo is tough. I feel so ashamed of myself. It's my last chanceto get an 'A' but fuck, hopes dashed. I spent my time with my iPod on Youtube. Am gonna have night study and I am gonna work hard, yes. I love america's got talent. Byebyebye. I wonder what is wrong with me and my life, sighsighsigh.

Why do you do this to me?

2008-09-16T20:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true that these days aren't easy anymore like how they used to be. I wish my younger days would return..sigh. I hate to be sandwiched inbetween my damn parents who do not really give a shit for how I feel. They think that I'm taking sides. Obviously not. I hate to see my dad leaving and I hate to see my mum who wants to leave. I can never get the best out of both. You will never get the best out of me. Their marriaged caused me to reconsider about relationships and getting married. I don't wanna be like them. I don't wanna fall out of love. I don't wanna be heartbroken.

I need more self-esteem which seems like I can never have enough. I want what I want and I don't wanna fucking regret shit after I have done it. Thanks J.M. for those comforting words, if they are true.

I am on better terms with math already. I just need to fucking clear my Trigonometry's Extension and I will be good for the end of years. And Merabel, I'll see you at YouthCup. I haven't forget that I promised to wait for you after one of those matches. I'll reconsider since you are so mean on the comment.

China trip, leaving on the damn 16th of November, which means, we will have to request for walkover. I hate that but in exchange to experience those Cheenas in China, it's kinda worth. I'm payin' to get pinned down on the floor with a volleyball. Hello Cheenas, please spare me.

EUGENIA NG KANG TENG, WHERE THE FK ARE YOU, MY GOD(!!!)
Someone nice enough to buy me Mac breakfast tmr? :D PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?
Oral tmr and my language papers starts next week. DIE.

K bad mood again. Even though the Pms is over.
Night all, study hard!

Finally, it's the 16th of Sept.
But long way still..
Sigh

I don't think I can srsly trust your words. Right. I felt guilty for a night. Well yeah.
I am getting over it and shutting the fuck up. I need to get out of this. Badly.
I don't give a damn if my Eng is as bad as fuck. I don't even need to try so hard in the first place.
Don't speak, liar

I am srsly in a fucking bad moood now. Blueblack on my hand. How is it even possible.

FK YOU
FK YOU
FK YOU
FK YOU
FK FK FK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __
BLDY PSY FCD BCH, I SRSLY FK HTE LRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had enough of those cheatings and playings. I need god of war to vent now.
I am fucking going into the toilet and cry my ass off

Sorry, I just needed to curse.

Half charged Ipod,(!!!)

2008-09-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ipod is still half bar after so long. Irritating as hell.

-ClarkQuay pics @ twoworldsapart.lj

Walked from ClarkQuay to Cityhall, visited the AsianCivillasationMuseum by fate (it was raining and we took shelter from there, decided to go check it out), dinnered at M.S and home.
Legs were aching like mad but it was fun overall. All the crazy bitches. I swear.

Yoshinoya for lunch and chilled at starbucks awhile and here I am, home! <3

Baibai ppppppllllleeeee

2008-09-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

Hahaha ! Blogging on my girl s blog is heaps more entertaining . Especially when in class :D

anyway i dont really know what i m doing here . But baby you m muh m muh make me happaye :D

to understand that line , watch tropic thunder suckers ;p love you darlin !

When I'm gone

2008-09-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

'Failure' is the most proper word to describe myself. I am a good-for-nothing. I have no comments. Even though the bbq was pretty not.... fill in the blanks yourself. But I am very glad to see my old team mates. I haven't had such a wonderful time with them for almost half a year already. They are leaving this year, well this is life. The ones in my batch are leaving next year. This is life, too. I will miss you all. I will miss you too, Jiayi! Study hard in UK and be back soon!

Meeting the usuals to search for my next bf, Stamford Raffles.

I don't know what's with me, I don't know what's with you. There seem to be a of miscommunication somewhere. Somewhere we can not find, which explains all the bickerings we have recently. I don't know what's wrong with this world, this life and this r/s. Three words can mean so much and mean so little at the same time. There are times when it helps and times when it doesn't, at all. I didn't mean to be so paranoid and pessimistic about stuffs.

I love you. I'm sorry.
Thanks for trying your best, it's appreciated.

Jokes that ain't funny anymore. What's with all the mixed feelings?
(?!)

I hate myself for loving you

2008-09-13T14:07:00.000-07:00

so much for coming all the way from pasirris to mp library to study. Am still stucked with trigonometry. Had a great time with sheryl last night at hkcafe and she is coming over with an yay! Miss quek is leaving on wed for I'm a
for studies :( shit i didn't know but I'm gonna attend the BBQ tonight. Ah I'm off. Bye all !

Breathe me in, I'm yours to keep

2008-09-12T18:05:00.000-07:00

I am being paranoid-y again. But then, what's new. I thought the most hated nightmare won't ever come back to me but my dream last night proved me wrong and it's back again, haunting me. I was fucking paranoid over a text dad sent. I thought it was from..... Well yeah fuck it.

I skipped school as I have already said last night somewhere and I am not in a good mood, anymore. I am fking pms ing away and bloody emo ing away. I'm gonna vent my anger by playing God of war.

One of my fav.,

Why- Secondhand Serenade

The buttons on my phone are worn thin
I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.
But I've broken all my promises to you
I've broken all my promises to you.

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.

(why do you.....................)

I should have known this wasn't real
And fought it off and fought to feel
What matters most? Everything
That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.
I promise you I will bring you home
I will bring you home.

Sigh . .
I guessed you forgot. Or maybe not.
Happy 13th my love.

Whore and cunts

2008-09-11T17:20:00.000-07:00

I call myself a good girl today because I am home early! Not very early . . But I would have been home earlier if not for EUGENIA NG, dragged me all the way to the canteen for no reason but for the sake of making me walk there (!!!) I ended up playing DjMax and GodOfWar. Yes, I like GodOfWar even though it fustrates me like some mothafuckin' cunt. I had my lunch too with the usuals, my love.

I hate my school. Kinda like some of the teachers too. Education makes you sacrifice so many shit. It's already countless. Everyone has 10 weeks of school. The other sec3s and I have 12. Bloody hell. This year, the olvl students get 1month off school to study. So obviously. . I have one word to say -SIAN. Think, exams starting on the 25th and ending on the early october. Ridiculous or what? The school waste so much time, what's the point? Why not just let us off and we go fuck ourselves and study anywhere but school? My god. .

It's finally friday! (Reminds me that I have my night classes starting from next week. .) I am gonna have a great and fun-filled weekend finally! All my weekends are usually boring, am so touched now plzsxzszszxszxs. I am reconsidering throughtrain. I'm gonna miss my friends like what happened to Yt. Well. I don't know. I do not wish to be with the people who are in 3C1. No offence, they're just not my type. I can tell that next year, 3C2 is gonna be filled with many and many people. Hohoho.

Once again, I am feeling extremely bad about myself. I feel so lousy compared to others. I feel so lousy compared to other girls. I lower my head when I see pretty girls. Wtf (!!!) I dislike this but ahhhhhhhhhh. Can't you all see I'm trying to shed a few(x100) pounds?! I guess no one can. Why am I doing all this. For the sake of (fillintheblank). Bloody hell :(

1.Time pass faster than ever
2.Distinction for El oral
3.Pass all my shit

Sports Hall is gonna be up next month! YAY! (!!!)
I AM SKIPPING SCHOOL TMR, 12/9

PS. I blogged at bf's last night, if you bother, go check it out @ here
PS(2). Thanks S. for CrystalJade ytd! You bloody mad cow. Heh ;D
PS(3). I wanna swim tmr, anyone?

HERE I COME RAFFLES, TO CELEBRATE MIDAUTUMN WITH YOUUUUUUUUUU
(Speaking of midautumn, no one bought me mooncakes! Tsk)

Happy 13th month honey munchkin! ;D

waffle scrunch munch gulp

2008-09-10T03:02:00.000-07:00

om nom nom .

guess who . ! ;D

no its not carolyn its jeremy .
she's supposed to bathe .

but nooooo .

she's still sitting online . (no doubt waiting for me to finish this post so she can yell at me ;D)

but hey thats the way it is huh !

and I love this girl . ! no shit . :D
and she loves meee . . . . . . . -looks suspiciously at carolyn-

SO ANYWAY

thanks for the password n' stuff darling .
uhm . everything .
for being with me....uhmmm....
for taking my shit....

uhmmm . . . .for being MY HONEY MUNCHKIN <33

yeahhhhhh . . . everything -thumbs up-

yes !

okay sweet I'm done here .

seeyall on the flipside . ;D

-jeremy

SPECIAL EDUCATION .

this is a Balisong (aka Butterfly Knife)

Loner of the day

2008-09-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

Sup people. I'm the loner of the day because I headed home after skool. It's already 4 but I just finished my noodles and I have not clean up! Gr. I am suppose to study but I already feel tired and all. I am pissed because I can't find my ipod USB cable. I need to bloody charge it(!!!) Skool was alright but I was damn tired. Bloody morning 1hr bus trip to school. Killer okay. Imagine the time I sleep(which is not vry late) and the time I have to wake up. I have to stay awake for 6-7 hrs. How to hang on! Tsk. Talking about school...the food in the canteen their prices all went up! You have to pay 50cents for that small seaweed chicken. My god. How are we gonna survive. I hope that negotiation between our school and ** works and we'll have good **! No more canned ones! But one ** alr cost 5.50-.- Perhaps Yh might be right, we would have that student price thing. Heh.

I rly have to go off now. Time is running out.

4.45PM: Complete Project Cleaning Up
4.05PM: Done with bathing
4.50PM: Done with revising POA shit
SLEEP AFTER EVERYTHING TILL DINNER TIME.

Okay. I am finally planning. Good job, Carolyn :)

K baibai everyone.

Seems like it has been forever, that you been gone.

2008-09-07T23:13:00.000-07:00

Was home at 1am because I wanted to take a dump real badly. Out at CoffeeClub with J and S.
I couldn't sleep till 5.30am. Wtf, so I played solitare that was on my sis's phone. Fun man. The girls were over last night for Mahjong at my place. It was fun. Hahah but I nearly died teaching Yh and Jh Mahjong. I can't teach, not because they suck. They were over today as well. For poker this time.

Anyway. Did I mention how much I dislike my team due to some things? I rly feel like leaving. I need Phebe. I fucking. . don't know. I need people who are enthu and not those who fucking emo their way in court and not cheering. Bloody fuck. I don't know. If everyone was like J or L or even me. I don't know what I can do. Nothing I say helps and nothing changes. I get pissed off badly too. Ah. Someone help me please. I fucking hate this. I need to walk away from this life of mine. Sigh... They don't seem to be helping, at all.

My lappy is kinda fucking up. I can't upload pictures into the post. Well. Done. I'm gonna stone and knock off. Tired and pissed. Feeling very useless.

Sighed.

One night and one more time

2008-09-06T00:14:00.000-07:00

Yet again, we've started a arguement that we thought we already settled. How great, that's why life is full of inconsequential stuffs. Full of unfair shit too.

Last training wasn't bad at all. The two girls in our team played as if there ain't any fliping on the scoreboard ( which wasn't really a score board ) They have so much more to learn.
Now, I am gonna concentrate on my studies and at the same time, pray and hope that I would get into throughtrain (with my group, hopefully, or it'd be so boring in class-.-)

Junior's training tomorrow and poool!

I. (Sigh) Don't know. I need that China trip badly. I need to step outside and see if I can still breathe. Not to forget, I'd be ten times more paranoid than the times when I'm here. Fuck.

What
the
fuck
am
I
suppose
to
do

(Big Sigh)

Goodnight,fucking dogs

Never knowing what our lives would be

2008-09-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

I'm seeing my girls today and I am very happy! I haven't seen them this week, aww. I've got my ipodtouch and I worry nothing. I'm a happy girl now and don't bring me down bitches. Training tommorow, might be the last and sigh. I'm gonna drop like mad after tomorrow, in terms of skill and stamina. Eat less, study more project. Go me! I know I have got support from everyone who loves me and yes I can do it!

Love you, you love me.

Hi Eugenia, I'm seeing you later. Woo.
Hi Weijie, I pity you. Tsk.
Happy birthday, Keith Pao.

See y'all laterssssssssssssssssssssssss

Rush Together

2008-09-02T13:47:00.000-07:00

What do I seriously hope after all this that I have gone through? I don't exactly hate my life, I don't exactly wanna get my ass out of sg but the people here are all fags and bitches. I really hate fags who uses their ass to think. What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't say things that you don't mean it. Partially my own problem too. But hey, at least I know who is the real friend - heh.

Peace with Dunman. After all this, Coach talked to the both teams, hands shaked and peace.
Training was pretty okay. I hate getting blocked down by people younger than me but... life's like that. My juniors who eventually became part of my team, they improved tremendously. They are quite a fun bunch just that we already grew out of that "like to have fun" thing. That happens when you grow old and sick of your passion. My passion wastes my time, so my passion for this sport is still there. It makes me forget about everything. Well that's about it.

I SAW YILING(?) YESTERDAY AT DUNMAN! HEEHEE.

30 and 31st @ Volleyball Camp(which wasn't really counted as a camp...)

30th,
CIP in the morning @ 8++, picking up litter at Changi beach with Track&Field-ers
An hour plusplus free, C&B girls had fun together. Played all sorts of games we could think of and that sadistic Handiplast was some thigh whacking game that you ain't suppose to make a sound when someone whacks you so some of their thighs bleed 'cos we are the volleyballers so.. heh. But everyone wanted more-.- Lunched at Mrs Gloria Tan condo's function room and then to trainings.

31st,
Rock climbing @ SAFRA Yishun. Climbed 18M and 25M (Which wasn't included in the whole package thing but they allowed) Only Sj and Van made it to the top. Hahahah.
--

Lantern Festival is here soon and we're gonna celebrate it together yay!!

BYD(Not all are up) Wait till my junior sends me the pictures for rockclimbing. Lol.

Shahirah and all my luvs!

Ashley(?), Mrs Tan's daughter. At Mrs Tan's Condo for lunch on 30th

BAIBAI~!
Liars never change their fucking habits. Fuck__
--

They grew up in the same old town
Never knowing the other was around
Read from the damn books
But never gave each others looks
But one day the sun will shine, I know
For their eyes have told me so
Chasing advice from those who say
I've lost my mind

Rush together to find each other
No it's too late, you can never wait for luck
Together playing the same instrument
That you still cant hear at all

So that's how the story goes so far
I'll tell you the rest, but now
I'm tired of what I think
A situation where I can't sing
But I hate the vagrant life, I know
Nothing has been more sold, 'till now
Living my life for those who say
I've lost my mind

So what do you say
What do you say
Can we turn this clock back thirteen years
And relate
I won't mind
Can we stay
But isn't it fate
Isn't it fate
That we spilled our guts out
On this very day
I don't mind
I want to
I want to
Rush together to find each other (stay)
No it's too late you can never wait for luck
Together playing the same instrument
Are you listening at all
Are you listening at all

What could be better

2008-08-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

I know I shouldn't be the one getting pissed off but I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.
I told you what I told you last night and I apologise. Suprisingly a nice convo. over msn in the end. Yeh peace.

I'm going down to Peninsular and then to Parkway. Dumb BeYourselfDay. Irritating as hell. But anyway..I'm still tired even though I woke up at one. Mum didn't wake me up, wonder why she's so nice today lol. But I hope she goes out later. So I can stay home alone yay. Stupid H. haven't reply to me yet! Waiting- and oh, I missed my compo test today. Not to forget, me and yh are not the same, Shaffirul. Tsk. Enjoy now and when the holiday ends, I'm gone.

Bai balls.
(Talking about balls I miss Ikea's meatballs man..)

I've heard it said today is all we're given,
Tomorrow may not come so you better start living,
I guess it all depends on your point of view, yeah.

Pardon me if I just don't listen
To everything the world says I'm missing,
There's nothing here
And now I'm gonna hold on to, hold on to.

We might be miles apart,

2008-08-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

I asked if Zb was gonna go to school tmr and she went..

Zb says:
Not sure. (some eyebrow moving smiley)
Zb says:
Jh's eyebrown >> (some eyebrow moving smiley)
Sleep through the static says:
hahaha horny face
Sleep through the static says:
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Zb says:
LOL
Sleep through the static says:
busted

Joan then showed me the eyebrow moving smiley again...

Joan says:
Only a smile?
Joan says:
Your brows are chu mai-ing you (eyebrow moving smiley)
Sleep through the static says:
no! haha
Joan says:
I can see it man

--

But anyway, detention was fun disturbing those two kids from 1I1. Training was alright and I hate the game ParkingLot because I can't seem to solve puzzle 39 out of 40. Busted ipodtouch. I'm gonna skip school tomorrow just because I'm too lazy and can't be bothered. I am worrying what to wear on Friday and it's Friday! Party time(!!!) I have some dumb Volleyball camp on Saturday and Sunday and it's non-residential. They even call it a camp. Dumb fuck school. I have to wake up at 5 because I stay at Marine Parade and the thing starts at 7.30am (!!!) Rock climbing and that's part of the camp. F...

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME TO GET MY ASS TO MELBOURNE OR SMTH. I'M VERY VERY AND EXTREMELY AND SUPER SICK OF THIS VERY FAST PACED SG LIFE. RUNNING OUT OF OXYGEN AND NO AIR NO AIR. DUMB FUCK SG TEACHERS LIKE SG GOVERNMENT'S SYSTEM. IT SUCKS AND FOR YOUR BALLZ SAKE I DON'T LIKE IT. EVERYTHING HERE IS ABOUT CASH CASH AND MORE CASH. NO TIME TO CHILLZ AND STUCK WITH ALL THE FAGGOTS AND PUSSY FACED FEMALE DOGS.

Well my results are pretty okay. I'm pretty satisfied and so is my mum. I hope for the better for my endofyear. I hope throughtrain will be mine. Heh.

Alright. Phone time.

Baibai.

--

If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say
To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard (life was not this hard)
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

THE GREAT ESCAPE

2008-08-26T19:00:00.002-07:00

HELLU EVERYONE! APPLESKIN IS BACK ;D Hahah yehhhhhh man. I haven't been blogging but I have been playing games on my ipod and I'm happy :) Not really but... Anyway. I've scored pretty well for my EL, except it ain't a A1 but I'm still tryin' to. I failed geog and math. I know I will make it through for promotion but not too sure about nailing throughtrain. Ah.. I hope mum allows me to do foundational studies over at Aust. Dumb JC sounds so hard. A NA student for JC? Not impossible but I'm not up for it.

Trainings have been okay and I need to buy a set of PJs for that dumb gay beyourselfday. I'm going for shopping. Heeeeee.

Bye all!

"Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make a great escape"

Every little thing that you do..

2008-08-16T23:49:00.000-07:00

Hellu bitches! Are you all surprised like why am I still alive after my trainings? Well the answer is - because today's training was not what I expected. I expected it to be like shit and it turns out to be very nice today! Long time since I enjoyed trainings like that. Even though we only fought for 10 sets but I really enjoyed it and first after a long time that everyone wants to train longer. Coach had to say sorry to us too. Yes Ngee Ann, we'll do it together. National Champs next year, go go go!
Carolyn is back. Thanks to myself, for spraining my ankle. I have learnt my lesson and the old me is back, yes (!!!) Thanks Ernest, for the drinks and bread! Not to mention, this time's team combination sure has made me stronger. I swear I ain't talking about who is lousy and all but obviously my team was the weakest among all. Is coach like looking up on me or he just wants my life? He can just ask me directly for it. No point trying to kill me indirectly, it ain't 100% too anyway.

China Overseas Volleyball trip will make us all miss the U16 Youth Cup and we will not play, for obvious reasons. Duh. I now dread going for the trip. As much as I want to go to China, definitely not Guangzhou. A place where I'd get robbed and all that, people having raw monkey brains for meals and all. I just...ew. Camp on the 30th to 31st. Waste my time. Some dumb fk school you are, my dear school. Bunch of losers packed in one loser school. Naturing faggy students.

I got my ipodtouch today(!!!) I am happy but I sorta regret buying it. But yeah, you know, I can exchange PSP with Zb the rocker! Thanks J for helping me to jailbreak and all.
I need a new pair of spectacles before I go blind. Dad please get your laptop soon. Or I'll die before this comp dies. Sigh.

Piano tmr. I hate this. I'm stuck with all the rubbish. AH!

K I'm gonna burn in my dreams. No love.

Discography

2008-08-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

I am thinking of a new blog url.. Such a (!!!) I am a happy because I have been constantly accelerating in English! All A1 for my compositions since this term started. Yay! I hope I get at least a B4 for my overall. Isabel said I look skinnier in the recent pictures I took. I hope I seriously have lost a bit. I reduced the amount of food intake for quite some time already. I hope it's all worth it.

I'm back at MP. Something happened between the families. Misinterpretation of words they speak. I just rejected bel, she asked me out to study after piano on sunday. Sorry bel! :( (I'm bored to that extent that I am friendster hopping. Damn..)

Money No Enough 2 today with Nurul and all. Sounds weird that I'm hanging out with her but I just wanted to watch that movie and most of the people in the group has watched it already so... Nurul is fun! Hahah. I like. Anyway. The show was such a irritating show. Made me laughed and cried and I can't even catch up - I was crying and laughing at the same time. It's both extremely funny and sad.

I had quiet a good day. But my mood is still below average. Killz me. Oh not forgetting we're starting our "Camp Dragon" (It's suppose to be gl to the Camp Phoenix lol) next friday from 6-9 PM. I must pretend that I'm taking O's. I failed my geog too. From the face of Ms Low's, it's painful obvious. She was so pissed off already when we asked her. Tsk. Geography...

Ah bye all.

"Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships.
You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.
I never looked at the consequences of missing a big shot... when you think about the consequences you always think of a negative result."
- Michael Jordan

Got it off J's blog. The line that I bolded is so fking right. I think I have always been like that. I'm too cautious with the stuff I do. I know I'm not that strong. I can't take the shit. I always think about the consequences and I get negative thoughts. Sigh.

Everything inside, never comes out right

2008-08-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

My title isn't any random title but it means something. Well shit, my dad just text me and said that he ain't gonna get me my ipodtouch (Sigh no. 1) Thanks dad (Mark the scarsm) As I've said, bad things come all at once and good things happen like how you pay your installments. Ah well. Again, so much for trusting what people say... (Big sigh)

Sigh no. 2, basketball girls lost to Unity by 2 balls! Tsk. It is such a waste. They were 2 balls away from getting into the top 4! Things never really always comes out the way you want it to be, I guess (and I know)
Sigh no. 3, I'm so gonna fail my math. I can't remember my Cosine Rule and the others I just totally fucked up. I teared but there is no point. I hope my Geog can hit the passing line at least. Let my pass my Combine Humans pls (!!!)

English was pretty alright today. I hope I score for my summary and all. I do not hold any hopes of passing my math, at least I know I won't get a zero.

Okay. I feel like shit but so what. I feel like shit everyday and will never fail to feel that way.
Dad just called and I cried. I finally told him my shit. Mum is near me, being a pussy still. Why can't she ever understand. She thinks that I'm always out and not studying. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO MY MATH, WHEN WILL SHE UNDERSTAND THAT I TRIED?

(Oh, dad is getting me my ipodtouch, he changed his mind again. Tsk, fickled minded like girlz)

I hate myself for thinking so much into stuffs, worrying so much, being so no confident in myself and being such a dumb loser. I feel like ending my life soon after I do what I wanna.

(Here Zachary comes telling me words again, senseless ones-.-)

I
AM
SAD
I know I keep saying that I'm sad but I look perfectly fine and I know I don't say anything about it but I really am. I just want to say it here but not anywhere. I know I'm a tad troublesome but ahhhhhhhhhhh

kill me
shoot me
burn!!!!!!

Someone....save me.
Sighhhhhh

"I know it's mad, but if i go to hell,
will you come with me,or just leave?
I know it's mad, but if the world were ending,
would you kiss me, or just leave me?
Just leave me. "

We're starting from scratch, all over again

2008-08-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

"We're a team, we put our hands together and look out for each other," -Yaoming
Ignore that person who have said it because it's Yaoming but what he has said sure made alot of sense. Team Nas, can we do that?

I had a great time at J's. Her dad was a fun guy, he was the banker. No drowning in alcohol, no one got wasted. Food was not bad. Home at 12.30am. I think Bunny and Jw's coming over and I'm hungry!

I had a pretty rough night even though I had a great time. Everyone was happy so I thought I shouldn't be sad. I think my dumb heart got numbed by all this. I can't believe I just got.....
I think I'm really dumb in a way that I believe people's words too easily. I never learnt my lesson, I never did.

It's our 1yearanni tmr. Which doesn't seem to be really important to you, still I guess? I just wanna thanks for single everything you have done, said and yeah. Be it small or a big thing, it doesn't really matter. I hope I did not make the wrong decision. This long road wasn't easy. I hope nothing changes and will never change. We'll make it through and see the world together.
I love you baby. (SEE,IT HAS BEEN A YEAR MY GOD)

Study time. Bai.

Through the rain

2008-08-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well for some fucking reasons, I had my post for my boyfriend saved as draft.
I was so fucking pissed off or more of angry last night to even sleep. I only slept at four plus, halfway through the volleyball match of Cuba and smth. I haven't have my breakfast and lunch yet. I am still fucking angry about that shit. It was in May but fuck it. I am considering a.... I am thinking about the consequences but fuck. I am gonna go through the pain like shit but it's better than dragging it, knowing it will happen someday and all. Fuck you then, V.

Glad that J enjoyed her birthday. Well. Happy birthday again J. Gonna go over to J's, her dad catered food.

Hey Mel, I doubt you'd see this but hope you feel okay! Luv you! :)

Should I give up? I seriously don't know. Again, I'm saying this. But this time, I feel that_ and me has more than 5000miles of distance. _ seems to be very detatched(told you it was the other way round) I don't know...I feel so, helpless. I can't even turn to you, my dear. Sigh. 1 year was long but when it's your time, you have to leave. Okay. I surrender to sadness. I feel vulnerable. I can't fight it. I can only hope for the best. I only take the truth. (Why the fuck isn't he calling yet)
Sigh.

Posted @ Cc.lj, locked and only friends can view it.

No love, no 'i miss you', just a heart that died from all this shit that god gave.
Party(?) at J's, I'm turning to absolute vodka if there's any. Sigh ttm.

Don't wanna fight it

2008-08-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

Helluuuuu everybodaye! Your mother I got back my phone and may that driver who returned me my phone lead a very good life from today onwards and don't need to be a cab driver anymore :D S cabbed me home after. Thanks man.

Fiesta wasn't what I expected (that's life) But nah, last year was way better man like seriously. This year is just - tsk, tsk. Even though all of the people over there put in alot of effort to make this work but mainly I guess it's the prime though. I went on stage to do some Bangladesh dance and it was cool hahahah like seriously and pics are with S so... :)

I'll update tomorrow hahah. I'm a happy kid now. I don't have to feel guilty anymore (!!!) CAROLYN IS GUILT-FREE NOW. WHEEEEEE.

I swear * is leading such a sad life now like seriously. Sigh. Why is *2 such a... Oh well.
I hope my dad gives me the money to buy that Ipodtouch from Lyv. ARGH.

K bai pussies

Bring me somewhere, out of this shit sg (!!!)

2008-08-06T18:02:00.000-07:00

I will never forgive myself for what I've done today and I never will. I'm sorry to you too. You thought today things will turn out okay but I reckon it will turn out like shit for what I've done.

I'm sorry. I love you.

*screams*

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTFUCK LAH!!!!!

RUVINQWRUIFCHNM4ITLOV3THGUHGERFJMIWFJIWJFIEIJEBBBBBBBIIODDDDDDDN NNNNN9EN8EWFR8R8XCEXFHNEFERNJCFUEMYCNHMEUZXFHRIFNERFH

FUCK OKAY. FUCK.

Shoot, shooting, SHOT!

2008-08-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

I had a great time playing Basketball with the basketballers! :) (!!!) It was suppose to be their self training but I joined in 'cos I was alone :( but they were so nice to take me in and let me join them! I feel like playing Basketball instead of Volleyball now. (awwwww) They were so nice even though most of my shots didn't went in (and they only went in when the day is turning into night lol my ass off) YAY I LOVE THE BASKETBALL GIRLZ PLS HAHAHAHAHAH I wanna join Basketball but Coach will most prolly kill me. Not literally but yeah. I think I should stick with what I'm better at. (Yes go back to Volleyball Carolyn, keep on feeling like a washout and demoralised)

Not to forget, how humans can do things without feeling ashamed of their own stupidity and dumb actions. How thick their skin is and not realising they are making themselves the "headlines".

I hate this life but those people around me made my day today a great and awesome one. Thanks :) Thanks to the Basketballers who were sadly teamed with me.

I have to study now. Have a good night :D

P.S I haven't been sleeping in class recently, yay! :D (!!!)
I'm a happy kid tonight. I'm not gonna let anything bring me down.

Now I know how far you'd go

2008-08-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

There's nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you'd go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing ok

I thought that I had everything I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breath cause your hear with me
And if I let you down I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make everything ok

Cause without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave
You're all I got
You're all I want
Yeah
And without you I don't know what I'll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Hear with me do you see your all I need

It has been a long hard road.
Thanks for being with me and made this world a better place.

Love,
Carolyn

I keep on trying, I keep on failing

2008-08-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I can't be the perfect daughter you want. A daughter that makes you happy more often, angry less often. I'm sorry Mum, I disappoint you over and over again.
--
A call is enough to make me feel pissed off, and realise that I'm at fault again. I wish I could do all the things to make you happy. I know I never did. I can never be. Those 2 days when my Mum care were like the 2 days where I felt better and thought that life ain't so bad afterall but now, I guess I'm back. I held back my tears after the 2 phone calls, cried in the toilet and I feel exactly the same a few days back. I disappoint myself and others. I am really fucking sorry. I'm like fucked in what I'm good at and what I'm not good at too. I feel like... I don't think I'll nail that throughtrain shit. I'm running out of time and perhaps, I realised what I want too late.

For Zb, Sher, J and Yh- Don't stress kay! You guys will be fine :) (LUV!!)

So fking contradicting pls.

Sigh.

No chicken, no luv

2008-07-31T16:40:00.000-07:00

Skipped school today. Too lazy to get my ass off my bed, painful swollen ankle made me didn't wanna attend school. Well I get an extra day to study my shit too anyway. Accompanied mum to Giant to get some stuff and she sent me to the polyclinic. Waited for an hour or so just for a fucking pack of painkiller. Ah just as well. Got a haircut and home. My hair is shorter than before now and I feel so sad :( I feel like cutting it short again but it'll take me another 3 years for it to grow long. Hmm right now the weather is so bloody hot. So, I'm gonna have my food and study, tv and maybe a nap before dinner comes in. Pop my painkillerz and sleep time. Not forgetting my phone call with my darling.
I feel better now. No more melancholic nights.

Bai all. Money no enough 2, anyone? :)

I might be just dreaming aloud..

2008-07-29T15:31:00.000-07:00

I remembered clearly that I sprained my ankle yesterday at 7.49 pm. The excruciating pain was so intense that my tears couldn't make their way outta my eyez, this I swear manx. I was like "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh", "mummmmyyyyyy", "ahhhh ffffffff" all the way. That's what you get for not using acupuncture but who cares, it ain't good for me so yeah.

Had trouble making my way up to my 4th storey high classroom. Well I didn't wanna mix with that bunch of lower sec kids so I've no choice. Thanks those who helped me up lol. I take forever to walk now. Everyone owns me in walking. Even Yh, she was so merry and blithe plz. Like money falling from teh skye plsh. One of the best things that has happened to me this year: My mum came to fetch me from school today and she so did not scold me, heh. (Nvm, you guys will never understand)

Good luck to me for everything. I have things to catch up now and I hate my life and myself even more. I blame myself for being such a dumb fuck overambitious pussy who thinks that she can make it but too fat to do it so I should fuck off and do my catching up and let people own me and I accept my fate then god pls have mercy on me tyvm god.

Money no enough and Journey to the center of the earth is coming out!!!!! But commontest are up soon and so are the end of yr. Damn. I would feel all tuckered out even without my trgs. Bitch.(!!!)

Oh something ew to me but not to others in Japan. They are having their eel season right now and so they made this drink, "Unagi Nobori" or what we say in English "Surging eel" and they're doing things like cookies and all. Wtf ttmlp. (Link)

I don't find the beauty I used to see in everything, anymore..

Twenty four hours won't really change anything

2008-07-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

There's no cheena cos my teacher ain't here. (end) Some people takes a life time to find out what their actually living for. I don't know how long i'll take but i know something for sure, is that i will my meaning in life. There are a few people i can't live my life without and some, they are better off dead. Right now i'm studying for myself and i might be some rich fuck cb and legs on table. Ah i think bye for now and ever. Study study bai dogs.

Through mails and calls...

2008-07-27T20:41:00.000-07:00

I, have never been so weak, thinking on giving up, suicidal and can not find a way to bring the happiness in me back. Feeling sad when day turns to night, 'cos that is the time you find darkness and you can't turn the sun on. I feel nothing when I see the sun but I feel joyless when I see the moon and the stars. Fuck seriously, I need to leave all this like really. I can't take it any longer. Everything seems to be so... I don't know. I don't feel a single bit of true happiness in me now. I can't seem to hold on any longer. The current pulls me so hard under that I don't even have the strength to fight back. I want the strong me who doesn't cry infront of anyone usually, who doesn't emo infront of anyone normally and the one who's always laughing hysterically at everything like some crazy bitch, going around irritating people, and the one who never admits defeat and continues the fight as if nothing has taken place, grows stronger after. I'm even losing interest in taking pictures of beautiful clouds 'cos I'm in a shit mood everytime when I see pretty clouds.

Enough said. I feel like bitching about youknowwho(not eugn.k.t. plz) but if youknowwho thinks that your fucking life is more pathetic than mine then go find your luvlybestfriend fuck you and you and me might have 1 out of 1million percent chance of going coffee at starbucks eww ttmm plz.

Hi Joan, be strong. I'm here for you (and here to nag at you too) *tiaks*

Have a good night everyone. May all of you find your perfect soul mates and see pretty clouds everyday.

No love. *continues swearing*

EW YOU TTM

We are inseparable

2008-07-26T22:54:00.000-07:00

Home from training. Over stretched my left thigh when training was gonna end and it hurts big time like ballz. My butt hurts too muscles ah. I hate trainings now but bel came and made it better but Phebe's last training made me felt like nothing but shit. Was emo ing inside and I felt like shit.

Morning with Phebe at Asics,somewhere at genting lane aljunied. Stayed there for 2 bloody hours and it's not easy okay. I was on the phone for almost 2 hours k. Dumb. That shoe cost like 70 bucks. Any sponsors?!? But I liked it though. I want a pair of Onitsuka Tigers too!!! They cost at least a hundred my god. Any ways to make myself rich? OMG :( I need so many things but my birthday's over alr. Gr. Next year ah. Mum doesn't wanna buy me a ticket to aust. She asked me to save. HOW TO?!

The petty ness in me isn't dead. I don't know what I have against you* but it's all that jealousy bullshit. I feel like killing myself like seriously. (FK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Curse till we all die and fk. I'd bury myself alive I tell you. I can't study but I'm SO FKING DESPRATE TO GET MY THROUGHTRAIN SHIT. Shouldve gone to express in the first place. Dumb pussy.

Are we really inseparable? Misery came to me and it was not a choice. This I need you by my side more than before. I know it's impossible and what can I do?

I
AM
RLY
RLY
RLY
RLY
RLY
RLY
RLY
RLY
(I would type more rly but I cant be bothered)
SAD

SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

bye
this might be the last time youre gonna see me
not

You have put on quite a show,really had me going

2008-07-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

English is boring ass. We're gonna have some debating shit and i'm in it. Sounds interesting to me though. No harm participating. -Smiles nicely- Emath before my recess break and it's really :( gonna catch The Dark Knight with the girls later on. I hope it'll be a good one. I might be getting one of those mango basics first or the edc tank i saw. Well for now,study. Bye all. No love for anyone. Cos i hate this dumb world. (I don't know why am i watching The Dark Knight instead of X-files. Tsk.) training tmr oh my god but my dear bel is coming back so it ain't that bad. I'll be seeing her next year in ny! Hee i like trainings. Ok rly bye -sad- ps/zb asked me to post this. It's her birthday in 3 months time hahah k bye all

filled with nothing but that emptiness. .

2008-07-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

Here i am, sitting in class. Waiting for the arrival of my principles of account teacher and was thinking my time away while they were all going through physics test paper. Well i haven't been thinking much recently so here it goes again. All the faggots in my class are acting like a bunch of idiots but what's new. I'm feeling emoz again like fuck. I hate my life here but i can do nothing about it. I hate myself cos i have to do things to upset myself. Misery is always optional but i just have to do shit to make myself feel better. I need to revise my work more. I'm barely surviving in this fucked up place. Bye all. I so will shoot myself and die. I do not have a gun. Loser. Die bitches.

I'll carry on,I know I'll get there

2008-07-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

So many regrets, there is no turning back though. It ain't a U-turn road. This is life,sadly.
I just finished typing my compo and finding for nice souls to print it out for me. :) Here I am, trying to clear fuck up with my dearest E, but she ain't replying my text msg. Hmm. But seriously though, might be just me, sheryl and joan who are dissapointed with you(and which I know we don't matter to you so we stfu but friends. Right.) Well I know you feel like giving me a tight slap on my damn face but I would seriously appreciate if we clear this and you, reconsider the words you put on your blog. I'm requesting politely so please.

Will anyone give me hope and give me faith?
Will anyone come running to me when I call out to that someone?
Will anyone light up the way when it's dark, just for me?
Will you always be there until I stand tall again?

I FOUND THE LIMITED ED SHOWTIME SKITTLES AT THE T3 AIRPORT LIKE IT WAS THE LAST 4 PACKS LEFT. AM I LUCKY OR WHAT. HAHAH. HAPPY GIRL. FOR NOW.

Phy and emath test was rubbish I tell you like seriously. My shoulder is aching so.............
baibai. Lol.

Luv. Carolyn.

2008-07-20T14:58:00.000-07:00

Hold on, 33miles

I've been there a thousand times
Felt the rain like a thousand knives and it hurts
I know it hurts
I've been there like a fighter plane
Trying to fly my way through a hurricane and it's hard
I know its hard
Don't be afraid
You'll make it through
Just call out out to me and I'll come running to you

Hold on
Hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on
Hold on
Until the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand
And hold on

I'll give you hope
I'll give you faith
And if it's dark I'll light the way for you
For you
By your side until the end
Until you're standing tall again
I'm here
I'll always be here
And if the tide sweeps you out to sea
When your strength is gone
And it's hard to believe

I like this song cause it somehow makes me feel stronger. (Laugh out loud plz) They're some christian band or smth like that which I don't rly dig and the web page I saw didn't give much info and I didn't bother searching so yeah.

The flu,cough,headache and painful plus galling throat didn't stop me from attending my piano lessons(whispers* which is pretty sad) ah but anyway. *sneezes*

Oh oh oh!! I WANT A PAIR OF ONITSUKA TIGER PLS. They look fking pretty and costly too-.- http://www.asicsamerica.com/onitsukatiger/ the electric light shoe is coolz but not to that extent where like you go woooohhhhh but it's just a model so blah.

I'm going to rest(in peace) now. Hopefully stronger when I wake up. Lol. Rubbish. Luv y'all.
I fking hate you,totally. I've to be nice. Peace.

Buaizx.

I know it hurts and I know it's hard

2008-07-19T22:22:00.000-07:00

Another day spent at training. The more I go,the more fked I feel and I don't even feel like playing. Tuckered out every every training. I told sj some time in while we were in the match: "I feel like qutting and I need to do something more meaningful than this(obviously not volleyball)" She just said that I took this path,I've to complete this journey. Well apparently she regretted coming into NgeeAnn just like me. We didn't know training would be so tedious and we'll have to do this for 4 years for her and 5 years for me.

I saw one dullard's pm in my msnlist and I reckon that the saying "It's all in the mind" and it's true. It's all the fake things you believe that makes you do all the stupid things. Like that dullard caused my youknowwho so much pain and sigh. Seriously. Is this what you call "Love"? Stop thinking it ain't you and just think out of your BOX.

My emotion now transcends everything. It "manipulates" me somehow and makes me feel like not doing anything. There is totally no point typing a verbose blog post like seriously and I'm feeling damn sick. Flu and headache. Make it last till tmr and I can skip piano. Pls pls pls. Tmr's the last day of GSS. Mum,show me the money!?!?

Have a good night everyone. I feel fked and where is my boyfriend.
(K,I just called him and he is stucked outside of his house. Gr. It cost 2bucks for 2minutes plz. Scam. *sneeze*x2)

Sigh
Sigh
Sigh
Sigh

I miss daddy
Mum is out to watch Red Cliff. Great show.
Baibai

I will be,all that you wanted

2008-07-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

Another day in school. More than half the class ain't here cos of the hair check. Mostly the guys, duh. Principals of account now. But i ain't doing anything cos i don't know anything. I feel . . Well. Empty. I feel arghhh. Fuck. Bye. I'll kill myself(not) soon if this continues. And be is right,i truly would not want to quit volleyball. Something i've done for four to five years. Sigh. I'm strong,i won't give up :) i'll show the best of me :p Hell yeah. Ah bye pussies. Bored. Neh neh neh.

leaving me breathless

2008-07-16T11:27:00.000-07:00

I'm in school,posting from my phone :) thanks to my boyfriend huh. Anyway,there's. (Hello! Joan here! Carolym sucks la. Stupid girl. Hohoho. She think she has a cool phone then dua sai :) Okay. That shit head gonna scream at me soon. And I hate some BEE.) hahah anyway i have training today :( i hate this. Math test later on kinematics. Ah. And mr heng is not here hahah okay bai luv carolyn. Oh p.s the previous post on the front part was for someone else and the part at the bottom is for someone else incase you guys didn't get it. The moaning part and the arguement is about two different persons. Whether you like it or not,it's my blog

It never comes out right

2008-07-15T17:25:00.000-07:00

I dislike school and I hate you.
I love my friends. Not ALL but a few that y'know. I went back to my primary school with my sister and J. Saw Mr Oh and Ms Pang. Mr Poh that bastard can just go (!!!) sorta do miss my school. Esp the food!! Only cos ngeeann food suck big time. Seeing things change and all,I feel a tad sad and feel as if I'm growing old. sigh.

People or rather most humans, do not listen to others before they say 'cos they think they are all damn right. When people do the same thing to them,they feel unhappy about it,feeling fked up inside or throw a fit over it. Is this fair or what. That person who gets this shit can never say anything or make their stand. It only gets "better" when they don't know that person who said smth about them. So what if you're feeling pissed or anything.

I curse only when I reallyx10 hate something to that extent or more than I can take in. Moreover,this is my blog. If you dullards can't understand then just leave my page.

I've been in a melancholic mood this few days. No idea why. Thanks for those who showed their concern last night,it's appreciated and sorry for not saying what's happening. I've my rationale behind all this.

All that I see in my phone actually reminds me that everything was real and those things we did had really taken place. Hi boyfriend I miss my tauhuay days with you. (Lol,sounded so like oldsku days man)

I failed POA by 1/2 a mark. I need to get that throughtrain shitz but it's like EL.MA.B3,adding up less than or equal to 19. Oh my bleh. Ok I will and I can do it. (That probably means I can get my ticket in a less stressful way and I can do my studies abroad :D hee visitaustralia.com ah)

I
MISS
YOU
Boyfriend
(Inserts hearts)

Just come back home(I'm your home darling~)

I missed you but things weren't the same

This time I think,I'm to blame
It gets harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
When I see you cry,it's makes me want to die

Every single day,I think about how we came this far
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right

I love how you kiss,I love all your sounds
and baby the way you make my world go round
And just wanted to say,I'm sorry

The 11th month,
please make me hold on to my everything.
I will not break down and give up. I will not.
Unless you do. See the world together? Maybe not.

-BIG SIGH-
I'm all tuckered out after all this. Makes me feel tension and exhausted.

Who do I turn to when I can't talk to anyone? Who can I trust. No one.
I feel so inferior compared to other girls who are PRETTY and GOOD LOOKING.
I feel like shit 'cos I know I'm not the best player.
I feel like fk 'cos I know who's gonna play my opp. in the team.
I feel so stressed out because Phebe is leaving.
I feel so tired because of all that I'm going through.

Then again,what can I do. So we've a conclusion already,haven't we? The conclusion is there's no point complaining 'cos nothing will change(unless it does then it's another thing) and that's precisely my point. ( I thought about it when we were talkin' to the vp today)

Get well baby.

READ THIS(this was what my boyfriend has told me before):
IMPROVE YOUR ARGUMENT(SENSIBLE,NOT THOSE DENSE AND GL ONES. IT ONLY SHOWS THAT YOU'RE A LOSER IF YOU DO THAT.) AND NOT INCREASE YOUR VOLUME(or smth like that).

I think sheryl and joan should get it. As in,who this is to.
If you think you know yourself,good for you. You should change. It's not a must.
:) Oh,we ain't your replacement for youknowwho too :)

I'm gonna nap bye
Goodbye to you. .

Fall for you-Secondhand Serenade.
It makes me wanna cry. Sigh.

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over againDon't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another dayI swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to findThis is not what

I intendedI always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me inI'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
'Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

FK THIS. I HATE THIS. BURN BITCH.

2008-07-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

Oh why do I even bother saying this. Well yeah fk you bitch. I really hate to say that but fk you again. ALL YOU DO IS CRY AND KEEP ON FKING MOANING OVER THINGS THAT ARE NOT YOURS AND SHLDN'T BE YOURS YOU DUMBASS BITCHH. GET A LIFE AND STOP CRYING,MOVE ON FOR FK'S SAKE. IT'S JUST THAT I CAN'T SAY IT INFRONT OF YOU BECAUSE OF YOUKNOWWHO. WELL YEAH JUST FK OFF AND GET A NEW GAYBOYFRIEND AND JUST BLOODY START EVERYTHING AGAIN.

(I also told J it might not be a bad thing when someone ditches you. 'Cos at least you know at that very moment when the opposite ask for break up you know he/she don't love you anymore. If he/she still loves you they'd return in a few days time. Then why all the broken hearted bother waiting and make their lives so melancholic everyday. We live to die. Why not make use of the time and do something meaningful. At least that won't cause you any regrets.)

I'm sorry for the vulgarities. I just had to do it. Since a long time I hated someone so it's fair isn't it? It's not as if she is the only one sad so yes just fk off right now and you hope I don't see you. There's no other way to it(relating to what I've been cursing at) so y'know. I'm pretty tired of everything now. Like always. I so need to get out of this "hell" as you all know this place has nothing but fkloads of shit,dick and pussies and nothing else.

Do nothing and fk around in Singapore:
I'm studying for my fking air ticket to go to somewhere over the rainbow,playing volleyball to waste time and hanging out with idiot to know that I still know how to get angry. (note:I said IDIOT and not IDIOTS).

I'm sad inside but not to the extent of getting depression or any bullshit but what can I do about it. Even if I do get depression I can sorta like go on medication but what the f can I do when I'm sad. (!!!) I really do feel like quitting everything I'm doing right now. EVERYTHING. I just need my past back(which possibly will never ever happen).

I will lose weight this time round like I will really own you. You fking fat and "-fill in the blank-"
bitch. You can so like come and screw me but am I wrong to say all this? AM I? It's not as if I don't feel je-jea-jealous at all. If ya reckon I have a very big heart and all,bullshit. Try being in my position. IHY (!!!)

I've said my piece,cried and wasted a bit of time. If you just so happen to finish reading this,I thank you for reading. I'm sorry for the fks and I love the world.

Thanks Joan for talking with me throughout the 'journey' :)
Thanks boyfriend for that 2 weeks,I love you.

Back to what we were before the 2weeks came.
This is not tragedy,it's called geographical separation.

Till the next time I'm back -

Love,Carolyn.

My everyday life within this 2 weeks

2008-07-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

It has been pretty alright for the past 1 week and yeah. Everything will be normal again soon and yeah I hate school though(still). But I'm still alive. Loving tauhuay as much as before.

It's just sad cos everything will end soon and I've to wait for another 5 months. My life,sadly.
We're almost together for a year. See each other for less than 2 months added up althogether.
Well,whatever it takes to make this last uh.

(But I can tell you now,knowing your bf is gonna leave for another 5months and you had only seen him for 2 weeks after 6months the pain cannot be described I tell ya.)

I love you boyfriend.
Goodnight world.

P.S. The strangers was a pretty damn fucking scary movie. No wait,IT IS.

I wanna go to schoooooool

2008-07-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

For the first time I'm saying this is because today is Elearning day and fuck it. I 'd rather go to school! Oh anyway,I finished all of them already so what the hell I should stop complaining. I'm gonna bathe and see what I can do. I'm hungry like ballz man. ah k luv you all and bye.

P.S. Trg was cancelled ytd due to the bus which was booked wrongly and it's my first cancelled one in my 3years in NgeeAnn hahahahahah

I won't be there forever

2008-06-27T23:54:00.000-07:00

My day was normal. I hate it still. Was getting all melancholic after 8. What can I say to my dear juniors? My heart ached when I saw my silly sister crying. But oh well. Now that you all are a part Bgirls,train hard and we shall build NgeeAnn's "never say die" spirit all over again.

I'm trying real hard to do what I have to. Can't you see it? Can't you?
Although I look like a robot who never gets tired 24/7 but I still will feel like crap at every end of the day. Okay getting abit gay.

YoungLion's GoalKeeper Jasper!! Hahaha. I'm not into soccer plz.

Ah kay la,I'm fked for the night. Next week's a long and full week.
Everyone bless me.

P.S. Someone from Shuqun became more and more good looking ahahaaaa

Torn,to do what I have to

2008-06-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

I fucking saw some faggot from under the block outside school(sidegate) who was masturbating and I got so fucking freaked out I can't even cry(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) FKING CB!!! I saw and I was screaming omg and I ain't the only one. My god,damn it!

Juniors lost to Jurong. I told you it was a 50-50 thing but I ain't pissed or anything. I hate school like seriously. It's so irritating and reminder to self: Do english assignment,due on tues and cheena work due tmr and tues. I'm so not gonna do it? Stupid heng.

I wanna take the bungy(sp?) thing and the swing hahha! who's gay enough to go with me? and yay we're going to makan on monday. Cash please dad. :D

I'm tired bai.
Life is booshit. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

we are countin' the days

2008-06-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

No cash till my tongue stud is outta my damn tongue. That's my dad for you. He has the same ol' kinda thinking like my coach,great. Dinner with him later(not forgetting sakura's gonna be full and I don't know the number(!!!) how do I bloody make reservations! I'm gonna get it out,hope it doesn't close after a few hours like what happened when I took it out for 3 hours. Took me awhile to place it back then,it's irritating. I just hope he'll give it to me later or I'm fucked for tomorrow like seriously I'm already cashless and he's still like that-.-!! I so fked.

All the aunty are gonna play mahjong damn no peace(!!!) I just bathed the kids and they're gonna go into their lalaland and I'm gonna chill and prolly fall alseep soon after I'm chilled. Better off facin' those auntehs. (Back after 25 minutes) Kids just slept and I feel sleepy too.

Holidays are over already. I thought it'd be something I would look forward too but no. Spent the holiday with trainings and volleyball matches. CoffeeClub with the girls and work. I didn't even get into town for the whole of the holidays. K great school tomorrow and I've to sleep at 10. How am I suppose to do that. I dread going to school(fk!!!)

Changes overtime but no one actually noticed(I'm just saying though) that's human I reckon. But yeah. Gonna go back to school and see how faggy all those faggots has become. Prolly worse but yeah gays for me please. My hair is long now! Hahah. Happy kid me is :D I need to replace my stud ballz it's so ugly now plz and my flower power tongue stud hee and I reckon I ain' getting that rubberthingy alr. Waste of money I'm gonna use the money to buy concession for my exlink hahahhaha cheapskate banana no this is called being smart when it comes to money. Sj just 'nagged' at me that night when we're walking home not to waste money on useless things. True and I ain't. I'm gonna be poor when my bf is coming back hahah pity bf!!!

reminder to myself:order cupcakes on thursday and order customized brownie cake for lyv on sunday!!

oo,blood on my knuckles. my mosquito bite bleeed siaaaaaaaa
okies baibai

not gonna say who I love for the time being
sickening pls,fuck

So hard for me to breathe

There wouldn't be scars to remind you

2008-06-21T02:25:00.000-07:00

I'm back at blogspot. I don't know when will I return to lj but whatever it is,nothing changes.
I just wish my life is how I want it to be and I don't want the world to be a stage where all of us are just merely players. Close friends? Count how many you have. We don't need many. Sometimes we only need a few. Well I had enough today,I'm feeling like crap. Goodnight.

What am I fighting for?

2008-06-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

BACK @ COUNTINGCHICKNZ.LJ!!
Well what the hell I ain't using my comp at Mp and I'm sitting infront of the comp at pasirris so obviously I'm going back to lj whether you like it or not. I love y'all!

See you on the flipside!

Back after 1 month

2008-06-05T12:52:00.000-07:00

Okay guess why I'm back. Not because I dislike Lj but I reckon my computer is the one giving problems -since last night,urgh. Well last night was the shit and I really mean shit. It was alright after and I hope baby's okay too. I don't know but yeah. I really liked what Charlotte(sp?) said about the "jkjk" thing(his friend anyway). I know I'm very disapproving but.. I'm sorry and I love you :)

Does anyone knows how to get St Ive's Body Wash?
Does anyone knows how to get Rapp's apple juice?
Please email me or smth if you know? Appreciated thnx :D

TRAINING TIME. I SHALL DRAG MESELF THERE.

Thanks Xe for helping me post @ Lj.

I wanna make love in this club

2008-05-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

I really wish I didn't bother blog-hopping,blogs to blogs which reminds me shitz that I don't wish to recall. I thought I forgot,but now,I distinctly remember all that fuck.
I hate to explain things at time not 'cos I don't wanna or anything like that. It's just that all this words that I typed out,I find it easier to explain. Like,all are from my innermost self? I can't seem to bring all this out,they don't even reach my throat before I wanna swallow it back.

Recently,I find myself hating shitz. Well,lets not say hate. Disliking many things? (Nah not rly)
I don't know why I'm so disapproving but yeah. That's just me.
Just like ya know. I'm not sure whether is my pms doing all that but maybe it's just me? But not to forget,I don't throw a fit over all this kinda thing.

I don't love my life,I don't really hate my life.
I'm just bored of this life. I wonder what am I gonna do when holiday comes.
Other than trg,work,I don't know. Oh well.

I'm moving to LJ for awhile soooo. Wait for meeeee. I don't know if I should lock it but anyway..
countingchicknz.lj
I changed it from sheep to chicken 'cos that was the first animal that came to my mind so,yeah.
See y'all.

End of MYE. Yeah man.
And happy birthday Yang :)
I love ya!

i'm yours

2008-05-03T23:39:00.000-07:00

"I wanted to chill. But you're too hot that I melted"
-I'm yours,Jason Mraz(Sp?)

At Sarah T.(Ah kao)'s house. With the G*,our new name :)
NO MORE CLIQUE. DISBANDED.
Anyway. I've spent my day quite usefully,aha.
My face is still suffering from the facial this afternoon.
It was granddad's one year anniversary,death of course.
I saw his wedding certificate. Antique I tell ya. It has been here for 60 damn years,no kidding man.
I'm heading home soon. Bloody pms came,sucks k.
Wall's interview tomorrow and I if I suceed,I'll earn big bucks and buy my G* shitz man. Hahah. I love ya all.

Goodnight and baibai
Zb said hi =)

Sometimes you get something you want,
even though it ain't the same as before but you're just glad it's there again
:)

forbidden city

2008-05-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

I just deleted whatever I typed. Just people dying and all.
Another day home after piano makeup lesson. Studying goegraphy.
And oh,I really want to see the katherine gorge in aust. My god. Not because it's in aust-.-
Anyway. Two more big papers(not very big) after tmr's geog and poa and yay! PARTY TIME!
K no, I still have training after that. Wooo! I love vb kayyyyz. Hahah. Part of my life already.

Cathay at downtown yesterday. Forbidden city. To me,it's good but the ticket price went up like woo? But anyway.

Okay bai. I hate this.

60 more miserable days
save me

you can take me away,

2008-04-30T12:07:00.000-07:00

So. In about an hour's time,I'll be making my way to Lavender to make my damn I/C.
Then,catch a movie with da girls(like finally a movie) and maybe to Hk Cafe.
See,I don't really have a life but comparing myself to other people,I can't say much.

Not to forget about my Midyear exam,I'm sorta fucked? (Not in truth but yeah)
Chemistry didn't make me feel better,earnestly. Math I,if I get a fail,I wouldn't be suprised.
Oh well. English I&II,Cheena I&II= Okay only thing. I'm not sure but ah,if I see any underline(Which I prolly will) I'll have to chiong for the next common test. But I'm pretty damn sure I can do it.

And I personally think that I'm a disgrace.
In what way? Everyway possible.
Sigh,I don't know. I feel like a failure.
Probably 'cos I'm stuck here.
Only time when I feel that I ain't a disgrace is when it's time for training?
'Cos my team is stronger than ever and we love each other. (Really meh)
But yeah. I'm so gonna die when training is back. It's back to square one again goddamnit.

Bai bai
AND IT'S THE END OF APRIL!!!!!!
But. To be frank,I really don't feel happy or anything.
All good things come to an end,lorh

What you thought you knew,wasn't just that.

2008-04-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

Behind these heavy walls surrounding your hearts,no one truly knows what you are thinking.
They may think you're saving your own ass by saying that but you are actually not.
The present homosapiens are seriously bitches at times. They'd do anything just to get what they want or anything. Da group is a dying one,some,have no fucking brains that they have to bloody embarass themselves infront of others. Some,they do the same thing but they call others hypocrite and says that "you do that when you told me not to". Hmm,nice. I'm not saying I ain't a hypocrite. I just don't embarass myself infront of others like that. It's fuckin' embarassing if you and you can't feel it.

Not to forget,whatever you think,might not be exactly what he/she is thinking.
People feel that way too. So can I. It's not as if I don't fucking think about what I do.
I admit I don't have the guts to talk it out till today with J and S. The rest,it's up to you guys.
You all know this isn't gonna work but at least waste sometime on talking about it?
It's better to say behind. 'Cause eventually,he/she would know and we'll stop.
And,I found out the reason why J doesn't trust anyone. I shouldn't trust too. I've been too gulible(sp?) for three goddamn mfking years. It's time to change.

SOME ONE GET ME THAT PUMA BAG THAT JH SAW PLS?
IT'S SO NICE but of course,comes with a nice price tag too. About 180bucks? Ah...
But anyway,I hate this life.
I so need to get out. Of Sg.

Mid year horrorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2008-04-25T23:41:00.000-07:00

Came back from mac @ about 11pm? With Eug and Yang.
The aircond made us felt sleepy,it's terrible.

Ah ya. Study tmr again OMGGGGGG :(
7 more days of exam. (Excluding 4 days of no school and 4 days of weekend)
:( no one can save me I swear.
I don't wanna see underline in my report book plsssssssssss.
I will work hard I promiseeeee.

K nightz people.
Airport tmr again,crap.

Someone cried and washed the streets away

2008-04-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

Another day has gone by. And,today's the start of the Midyears. Yes beginning. It's terrible.
I wrote something on 'traumatic experiences' for my compo and I hope i'll be able to pass,733words,it's all rubbish. Not forgetting cheena is rubbish. I think it's kinda tough?
But pass can alr. Trying very hard ah.

Anyway,I'm tired and I wanna sleep.
So many things I wanna do but.... Ah ya.
I need a break after the exams. It's so stressful.
I spent fifty bucks at ChangiAirport within 3days.
Might not be alot but I could've spent lesser if...

K baibai.
Good luck to me.

I love my boyfriendddddddddd :D
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I still got 67 days (bigggg sigh)

SOMEONE BRING ME TO THE BLOODY THEATHRE.
I NEED TO WATCH A MOVIE. IT HAS BEEN 2 MONTHS SINCE I STEPPED INTO THE CINEMA. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

MY 15th

2008-04-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

I had a great birthday even though it wasn't that great.
Thanks those who helped out and all. Some were busy throughout the whole of time with me or just for me. I rly appreciate what you guys did and the presents you guys gave.

Day one,clique and mates got busy because of me.
Joan's hse to collect shitz>Check in to chalet but shit happened and wait wait wait till we saw Mr woo (from YYSVB) asked him to help us to check in cos we ain't 18-.->Checked in,play cards>Tv/Slept>Bought charcoal and all>Rest of clique came>5PM start fire all the way till 6+>7 started bbqing>while waiting for 12am,talked,played cards and blah,drinked>12am cut cake!!! (Thanks Joan for the brownie cake and Cephas for the Cheesecake.)

As usual,Eug got wasted. They went home after at about 2am?
Leaving J,Yh,Jh,S,D,E,Yk and some of the guys. Didn't sleep till 5am.

Day two,slept till 11>breakfast and bought charcoal and bla>bbq again-.->sleep>woke up,clique returned,bbq again(!!)>home at 11?

Yeah. Phebe gave me a minnie mouse balloon. It's head fell of and floated to the celling-.-
This guy helped me took it down. Aha,his godmum thought I was from NgeeAnnPoly. LOL.
So I pass as a poly student eh. :)

K post pics up as soon as Joan send me the pics.
LOVE YOU ALL :)
I'm 15 ahhaha

Untitled

2008-04-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

Gonna bathe and go collect shit from Joan's place.
Hope it'll be a good one today. Never doing this again I guess.
I thought it'd be the best birthday ever but...
Oh well. Life's like that. Happy birthday to me anyway :)

No matter what she tells me,I don't really care.
No matter how many times you lied,how serious or w/e it is,I never blamed you.
No matter how you scold me,I never held grudge against you.
No matter how many times I feel irritated by you,I never said anything.
But this time,things won't be the same.
I still remember the times we were having meals,you laughed,you smiled.
You called me at random times and asked random stuffs and I made you laugh.
14 years,I respected you. This is what you gave me in the end.
I guess it's goodbye.

There's nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to let you see
What you meant to me
All the pain,the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

you bring me down

2008-04-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

*He just fk himself up again. I don't know why are my parents so self-centered.
I really hate the fact that they are divorced even though it kinda benefits them.
It's THEIR problem but it still somehow affects me and become my problem.
I'm always the one sandwiched between two of them. I've told my mum before,
it somehow becomes my fault and I get scolding. She reckon that I'm just fking trying
to be pathetic. Since then on,I've never talked to her about this kinda shitz anymore.
That was my first time telling her those kinda thing anyway. 'Cos I feel that there's no point.

I don't know if they care. They just show me the 'I don't give a shit,cos you're old enough to settle it yourself' feeling. I never liked going home(when we all still lived under one roof).
I've told (V) before. But that's not the point. I just hate how things work in my family.
I don't mind them both quarrelling everyday,even though I hate it alot-.-
But I just don't want them,making their problem to my problem.

I hate my life. Not because I do the same thing everyday.
So what even if my life revolves around volleyball and school,I don't care.
Just as long as my parents doesn't give me problem,I'll be fine.

I'm happy,I manage to buy the rice flour rolls from whitesand's kopitiam.
I'm sad and pissed,my birthday's gonna be fked.

Bye. No mood.

Better in time

2008-04-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

I'm down with flu. It's so shit,like seriously.
Rah. Lvl 6-2 for beep test or w/e you call it.
And 27/40 for Physics,1st in class,spells pathetic.
7/12 for ss,behind Eugenia.
There's still Chem. Prolly getting it the next lesson.

MrLeong came back today,bald.
Hahah. Army is....
Imagine you have to carry 35kg of shit and up to the 5th lvl.
Damn. But I don't have NS,who cares.
Pity bf thou. Tsk.

But yeah. Gonna get fever soon.
But if I get my fever,I'll have to recover before the 18th.
I've got shit to do. That's my birthday chalet. Aha.

If you leave me half way...
Choy! No no no.

That one line I always leave at the end of the post:
Hi bf,I love you :)
& oh,half of the month is gone if you haven't realise :D

THE 8TH

2008-04-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

Hello all. St Hildas' the Champion again. (What's new,srsly)
Watched Presby. Vs Semb. too. Presby. won,as expected.
I still remember,we were there,in the court. Fighting for the national champ.
Oh well. It's gonna be us next year. I swear man this time.

But yeah. I hope my studies and vb will (you-know-what).
Seriously man. I'm putting in the hours and all that.
I'd be fking disappointed if I don't score. Good luck to me anyway.
Tmr is going to be our last training. Before the MYE exams I mean.
Then comes the GSP and exams. And I enjoy studying very much now.
I think I'm crazy but think again,I think I've grown up.
Aha,okay. I think I'm really.... but yeah.

I think life is such a pain in the ass at times.
Gives you suprises all the time,both good and bad.
When it's something great,it's really something like wohhhhh.
But when it's something bad,it's something you'll go like "Ah F lah!"
But that's life for ya and all of us here. You sometimes had enough of all that and you just wanna leave. But when you think about everything you have here,you gave up the thought.
So,does dreams of ours go *boom* when we think about going for it,but after thinking like this is prolly how far we can come,we give up?
Yeah this probably don't make sense but ah...
I just hate this life and I need something more... :)
I wanna move out but I don't bear to leave all the things I've had before here.
Every adult tells us to work hard and earn more cash and move our asses outta SG.
I kinda know why. Slogging their asses off just for cash and all that. I wouldn't wanna do that.
No. I wanna be a taitai.
No life,LOR.
Totally man.

Eh,you all think my english got improve?
Hahaha.

Goodnight all.

Crank thaaaaaaaaaaatttttt

2008-04-10T02:16:00.000-07:00

Home again but I'll be back at aunt's to stay tomorrow.
Last trg will be on sunday & next week we'll have GSP.
Like finally man. We get air-cond. rooms so like why not.
I need to see all passes in my report book again. I can't tell you how desperate I am man,it's so stressful. And at least a -erm,okay make it 55. I'm trying me best though.
Chemistry test today. I need to (you-know-what). Even if I don't top for chemistry again,I don't mind. At least I (you-know-what),I'll be contented. Physics tomorrow,ahhhhhhh. I need to (you-know-what) also sia.

And I really hate the school,not because we can't get air-con but they just don't give a fk about little things and still expect us to like listen to them?! I mean,srsrly man. Why can't they just fix our goddamn fans and we'll just keep our damn mouths shut after they fixed it and peace for everyone. JUST FIX THE FANS. Fans,hello?! You can say we're too kp but how do we study like that. Go look at the walls of our class man,it's pathetic. 4C2 gets to move into another room. But what do we get? Nothing. Bloody upgrading caused so much.

Anyway. Birthday's next week. Not very excited.
Say seriously,I kinda regret doing all this.
But yeah. Since I've already done it,I'll make it a good one.
I'm buying all my shitz on the 18th. No wait. I should go check it online first.

1)Hi bf,I Love You :)
2)Hi Jacquetta (If you ever see this)
3)Hi 3C2,please study for your goddamn Physics and MYE
4)Hi JOAN!! :D

Now baibai. I need to charge battery=zzz and look through Physics again.
I can't tell you how shit Physics is. TSK.

Or should I keep on chasing pavements even though it leads nowhere?

2008-04-04T17:11:00.000-07:00

Hi. My bday's in 2 weeks time. Excited. HAHA.

Tmr is Eugenia's birthday. YAY!
We're celebrating it today and they're gonna stayover at my place. Yo~
I bought her the brownies from P.Osh and yeah. And for my mum and sisters.

Anyway......
Trg tmr,AHHHHH

I can't deny that you're the love of my life.
I'll hang on,it's just 3 months. You too (Inserts heart)

& I'm sorry,we can't talk tonight.